Of Friendship, Desire, and Love
by Eligh
Summary: Snippets of life at Hogwarts for the Marauders. Eventual Remus/Sirius, which means SLASH. Rated M for later chapters. Equal parts fluffy sweetness and angst.
1. Once Upon a Time

**_Title: _**_Of Friendship, Desire, and Love_

**_Summary: _**_Snippets of the boy's life at Hogwarts. Eventual Remus/Sirius. Some parts fluffy, some angst, some awww..._

**_Rating: _**_M for later chapters_

**_Warnings: Overall-_**_ language, sexual acts, slash, mentions of suicidal thoughts, gore. **This chapter-** nothing, really. _

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters. No money is being made or offense is intended. _

**_A/N:_ **_This is mostly written, so updates should be relatively frequent. One chapter per school year + a post graduation chapter. I would love reviews :) _

* * *

><p><strong>Once Upon a Time<strong>

Orion Black stood stiffly on the platform of 9¾, his eldest son's shoulder clasped firmly underneath his punishing hand. Sirius was wiggling slightly, partially from the pain from the too-firm grasp, but mostly from excitement. He was getting away from his parents for the first time in… ever!

"Sirius, look at me." Reluctantly, the eleven year old did as he was told. Orion spoke softly, but the haughtiness in his voice was unmistakable. "I expect only excellence. You are the heir to our family, and should purport yourself accordingly. While it should go without saying, I will repeat myself once again: avoid mudbloods and blood traitors. Uphold the morals of the noble house of Black." His silver eyes fixed harshly on Sirius, who nodded slightly. "Now, come. There is your cousin Lucius. You should sit with him on the train."

He steered his son toward the Malfoys, where Sirius' older cousin was imperiously ordering younger students to load his bags for him. Sirius allowed himself to be dragged, but caught the eye of another boy who looked about his age, flashing a smile that said _Parents. What can you do with them?_

The messy-haired boy watched the kid who had smiled at him be dragged off by his father, and then turned his attention back to his parents, who were fussing with final goodbyes. His mother enveloped him in a suffocating hug, and pulled back, tears shining in her eyes.

"James, I am so proud. No matter what house you end up in… oh… my little baby is so grown up!" She sniffled, and hugged him tight again.

"M-om… c'mon, you're embarrassing…"

James was rescued by his father, who also pulled him in for a quick hug (not as stifling as his mother's) and a pat on the head.

"Don't get into too much trouble, now. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." James didn't miss the horrified look his mother shot his father, and he grinned.

"Bye, Mum. Dad. I'll write to tell you what house I get into." He spun round and quickly moved to pull his trunk onto the train, accidentally knocking into a pudgy boy who was trying to escape his mother's frantic scrubbing on his face.

"Sorry, mate," James grinned, and the other boy shot him a _please save me_ look. James laughed and pulled his trunk behind him as the boy was again forced to look at his mother.

"Peter, now, do you have everything? Didn't forget clean underwear? You have all your books? Quills, spare parchment, extra—"

"Yes, _Mum_, I have everything. We checked fifty times, can I get on the train now?" Mrs. Pettigrew gave his nose a final swipe, and sighed, stepping back.

"No getting into trouble, Peter. Make some friends, darling."

"I will. Write you soon," Peter replied, turning and pulling his own trunk onto the train. He didn't notice the sandy-haired boy who was watching him nervously.

"Remus." The boy jerked, startled by his father's gentle hand on his shoulder. "Ready?"

"I-I guess." He was practically shaking, equal parts terrified and excited.

"Professor Dumbledore will talk to you more when you get to Hogwarts. He said he and the school's Healer have set all sorts of precautions up for you. You'll be fine, everything will be perfect."

"What if someone finds out?"

John Lupin looked closely at his son. "No one will find out. You're going to get a wonderful education, and everything will be fine." Remus looked back and forth at his mother and father, who were both smiling tight little smiles.

"Yea, fine. I'll be fine. I-I'll see you at Christmas, then."

"Write to us soon, Remus," his mother interjected as he turned to drag his trunk toward the train. Remus nodded, and didn't look back.

('')

As soon as his father and the platform disappeared from sight as the train pulled away, Sirius got up and left the compartment in which he'd been sitting.

"Where are you going, Sirius?" drawled Lucius, not looking up from his Quidditch magazine.

Sirius snorted. "Sod off, Lucius. Like I'd want to sit near your uptight arse the whole way to school." Lucius rolled his eyes, but made no further comment when the other boy left the compartment.

Sirius trailed his fingers down the row of compartment doors while he looked for one that was less crowded with unpleasant people. He stopped in front of one that held only two other boys, who looked to be close to his age. One was the boy he'd smiled at on the platform.

"Hey," he said, poking his head in. "Mind if I sit with you?" The black-haired boy, recognizing him, smiled and gestured him in.

"Hi. I'm James, and this is Peter. We're both first years." The other boy in the compartment gave Sirius a little wave and said hi, as well.

"Cool, me too. I'm Sirius." James and Sirius quickly settled into easy talk, but Peter seemed too nervous to contribute much to the conversation. A few minutes in, a quiet knock startled James out of a particularly extravagant imitation of the Chudley Cannon's Beater's ridiculous blunder from their latest match, and the three boys looked up to see a slightly pink-flushed boy standing in the compartment's door.

"Everywhere's full up… mind if I…"

Sirius stood up and grabbed the boy, pulling him into the seat next to him. "You're in. I'm Sirius." He unabashedly checked out the other boy, who blushed harder. "Oh, and this is James and that's Peter," he said gesturing to the other two, who each waved when their name was mentioned.

"I'm Remus," whispered the boy, who was entirely overwhelmed by this boisterous greeting. But as the ride progressed, Remus relaxed, and by the time they were almost to Hogwarts, he was laughing along with the rest of them.

With the end of their ride approaching, even Sirius fell silent to nerves. All four boys quickly changed into their robes, and when the train lurched to a halt, Peter let out a shaky breath, James and Sirius set their mouths in thin lines, and Remus paled.

"Right, lads," said Sirius, breaking the silence, and causing everyone to jump. "Onwards."

('')

The first years trooped into the great hall amidst much whispering and pointing, and Remus felt like he was going to be sick. He toyed with the hems of his robes, occasionally scratching at the itchy scar on his arm, a leftover from last month's transformation.

When was Dumbledore going to talk to him? It was three weeks until the next full, what had they done to make things safe for him to be here? He realized he was shaking, and glanced at the three boys he had met on the train. He wondered if the time they had spent on the train was what it felt like to have friends.

Peter was shaking worse than Remus. Already wishing he could be like James, full of quiet confidence. He hoped they would be placed in the same house—whatever house it was, it didn't matter.

He unconsciously moved closer to the other boys he'd met on the train. He'd liked all of them. Yea, Sirius was a little… loud, and Remus looked like he'd end up a bit of the bookish sort, but they were all nice. The train ride had been fun.

James shoved on Sirius' shoulder, wanting to wish him luck, and was mildly surprised when the previously cocky boy turned to him, his eyes wide. Sirius looked terrified—much more scared than he should be. James gave him a puzzled look, and Sirius shook his head.

All the first years looked on in shock when the Sorting Hat opened its mouth and began to sing.

When Professor McGonagall unrolled her parchment and began reading off names, Sirius' stomach threatened to evacuate his body. One, because his new friends would now hear his last name, and two, because… well, any house but Slytherin. Any. House. But. _Please…_

"Black, Sirius."

Sirius stepped forward shakily, and turned to glance at his friends, quickly looking away when he saw the shock the mention of his last name had etched onto James and Peter's faces. At least Remus hadn't reacted, but he may not have heard. He looked like he was going to throw up.

Sirius stepped up and picked up the hat, sliding it down over his eyes, so he wouldn't have to look at anyone.

_A Black, eh?_ Sirius jumped when the Hat's voice spoke softly in his ear.

_Yes, but I'm not like them. I don't want Slytherin. Please, please, please, please…_

_You'd do well there, you know. Your family would be proud… _

_I don't care about my bloody family, they're horrible… I just want to be myself, be someone worth something, a good sort of person…" _Sirius' thoughts were babbling.

_All right, then, don't get your panties in a twist… in that case, let's make it… _"GRYFFINDOR!"

Sirius tore the hat off his head, panting in relief, and headed for a table covered in red and gold and filled with cheering, happy faces. He glanced across the hall at the green and silver table, and caught sight of Lucius, who was sporting a raised eyebrow and an incredulous look on his face.

Sirius sat down to watch the rest of the new students.

Remus was the next of the four boys up—the call of "Lupin, Remus," jolted him out of his almost-panic attack, and he stumbled to the Hat, pulling it over his head.

_Hmmm… _the Hat mused in his ear. _Interesting. Intelligent, curious, and a werewolf. _Remus gasped quietly.

_Does that matter?_ He thought, terrified that the Hat would throw him out—he was unfit for Hogwarts, he'd be outed—

_Not in the grand scheme of things. An education for all! And I see a deep swelling of bravery—one of the bravest children I've encountered. There's no other choice, you're in _"GYRFFINDOR!"

Remus sagged off the seat, pulled off the hat, and walked to the table he had seen Sirius head towards a few minutes earlier. He was greeted by a clap on the back from an unknown sixth or seventh year that made him cough, and he slumped next to Sirius, who pulled him into a quick hug.

"Good on ya," Sirius grinned at him. Remus grinned back. Sirius mostly ignored the fluttering in his chest that Remus' grin wrung out of him.

Peter became the third of the boys to be placed in Gryffindor, and as he sank down next to the other two, his face red, he whispered, "It wanted to put me in Hufflepuff, but I begged…" Sirius nodded, understanding what would make someone beg to be placed in a particular house.

When James sat on the stool, the Hat wasn't even fully on his head before it belted out a roaring "GYRFFINDOR!" James stood up, beaming, and joined the other three. Peter scooted out of the way to make room, and soon after, the sorting was done, and food was appearing.

After the feast, everyone stood to go, stretching and full, and the four boys (the only four boys from their year sorted into Gryffindor) began to follow an important-looking seventh year toward where they had been told their dorm was. Remus, however, was stopped by Professor McGonagall, and Sirius curiously watched him being led away. Remus looked a bit dejected, and when he shot a glance over his shoulder, Sirius gave him a reassuring smile.

Then Remus was lost in the crush of students, and Sirius turned away so he wouldn't get lost. When he got to the portrait of the Fat Lady, he was told the password was 'beetlebubs,' and watched in amazement as the portrait swung out to admit him for the first time into the Gryffindor common room.

('')

"Mr. Lupin," said Professor McGonagall quietly. "Professor Dumbledore would like to speak to you before you proceed to your dorm. He assured me this wouldn't take long." She guided him gently toward where the white-haired man was waiting for them, at the edge of the great hall. "Congratulations on being placed in Gryffindor, by the way," she added before leaving him alone with Dumbledore.

Remus glanced around. The great hall was already almost empty. He looked nervously up at the Headmaster, who smiled benignly back at him.

"Remus, I'm thrilled your parents decided to allow your attendance. I simply wanted to personally assure you that the staff has set up several protective matters regarding your condition, and that you have no need for worry." Remus nodded.

"A week prior to your first transformation," Dumbledore continued, "we will have a practice run wherein we will show you the steps we have taken. Until then, lose yourself in your studies, and I shall speak to you later." He gave Remus a reassuring pat on the shoulder, and Professor McGonagall stepped forward again, leading Remus out of the Great Hall and toward the Gryffindor dorms.

When they arrived, she told him the password, and Remus awkwardly climbed through the portal. The common room was already deserted, and he looked around briefly before heading toward stairs marked 'boys.' He quickly found another door with a plaque that announced 'first years,' and when he swung that one open, he was greeted by a grinning Sirius.

"Remus! What was that about? Everything all right?"

"Uh, yea… just a note from my father. My mum's… uh… sick," he quickly lied, setting up the running story his parents had planned on him telling anyone who asked about his disappearances.

"Oh, hope she's all right. Now, c'mere, look at our view!"

Remus let himself be dragged to the window, and he looked out, smiling. Hogwarts was going to be amazing.


	2. The Furry Little Problem

**_Warnings: _**_Minor gore_

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters. No money is being made or offense is intended._

**_A/N:_ **_Year Two. Enjoy, and please review!_

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><p><strong>The Furry Little Problem<strong>

"So your mum is the one that's sick…" Sirius mused, watching Remus closely. "Why do you gotta keep going home if she's the sick one?" Remus fidgeted.

"My dad wants me there. He said it calms her down when she's especially bad."

"Hm." His steely grey eyes drilled into Remus' head. "Alright, Rem. Tell her we all hope she gets better. Cause when you miss class, I don't have anyone to copy off. It's hindering my studies," Sirius said with a grin.

Remus coughed nervously, and pulled his suitcase toward himself. He couldn't help glancing out the window at the setting sun as he turned to go. Sirius, who was watching him closely, didn't miss this.

It was November, the boys were in their second year at Hogwarts, and Remus was still consistently disappearing once a month. Sirius was becoming very, very suspicious. He'd noticed how exhausted Remus was when he returned, but Remus had written that off as late nights by his mother's bedside.

But last month, Remus had returned with a bandaged arm. Sirius wouldn't have noticed it, since Remus never rolled the sleeves of his robes up, but Peter had accidently spilled ink all over Remus one night, and Sirius had headed to the dorm for an early night shortly after the other boy went to change.

When Sirius had snapped the door shut behind him, Remus had squeaked and tried to hurriedly pull on clean robes. But Sirius had caught a flash of white gauze, and had grabbed Remus' arm, causing the other boy to wince.

"Sorry," Sirius had said, dropping the arm. "Are you hurt? Why isn't it healed?"

"Neighbor, uh. Was raising a baby dragon, I got too close. Magical and all, doesn't heal right…" Remus had babbled, and then fled for the library, praying Sirius wouldn't also notice his limp. Sirius had watched him go, head cocked to the side, and begun to worry.

Now, it was another month, and another night where Remus was gone.

"Where do you think he really goes?" Sirius mused to James later, after Remus had disappeared.

"Merlin, I duno, Sirius. Lemme sleep."

"I'm _am _serious, James."

"Hah. Serious Sirius."

"What a joke. Never heard it before. Really, ever," Sirius grumbled, sarcasm thick enough that it was practically visible.

James laughed, and surprised Sirius with a pillow to the face. Sirius roared in retaliation, and soon the two boys were wrestling on the ground, while a bemused Peter watched on. Thoughts of Remus' real location were momentarily driven from Sirius' mind.

('')

Sirius was sneaking to the kitchens. He'd accidentally splashed some nausea-inducing potion on himself right before dinner, and as a consequence, had missed it. But he felt fine now, and he was starving. Never mind that the sun was almost up and he could have just waited an hour or so until breakfast… he was hungry now.

He snuck as quietly as he could through the entryway, trying to stick to the lessening shadows and tiny alcoves. Suddenly, the front door creaked open, and he froze. The only person up now would probably that disgusting caretaker. It wouldn't be good to be caught by him.

So he was very surprised when Madame Pomfrey, the school Healer, walked by, accompanied by Professor McGonagall. They were floating something between them, something that looked suspiciously like…

"Remus!" Sirius burst out, forgetting that he was supposed to be hiding. He bolted to the unconscious boy, looking down in horror. Remus was unconscious and covered in blood—he had a gaping wound running down his cheek, deep enough that Sirius thought it probably went straight through into his mouth. His arm looked broken, his robes were shredded—"

"Sirius Black!" McGonagall roared. "Fifty points from Gryffindor for being out of the dorm! And proceed immediately to my office!"

"But—but Remus!" Sirius protested, not leaving his friend's side, running to keep up with Madame Pomfrey. "What happened to him?"

Professor McGonagall pulled her wand and shot ropes out of it, forcing Sirius to either stop or fall face forward on the stone floor.

"My office, Black," she repeated, before gesturing with her wand and releasing him, then pointing up the stairs. Sirius reluctantly went, craning to see Remus until the boy disappeared into a passageway.

He slouched to McGonagall's office, his mind whirling. What could have done that to Remus? He looked like he'd been mauled… he pressed his hands to his face, and felt tears threatening. Something hurt his friend… what was going on?

Twenty minutes later, McGonagall slipped into her office. Sirius immediately stood up and demanded she tell him what was happening. She held up her hands, cutting him off, and gestured for the boy to sit.

"Remus had an accident. He was mugged on his way back to school. Madame Pomfrey is fixing him up, and he'll be fine."

"Can I see him?"

"Perhaps tomorrow. For now, go to breakfast. Please do not spread word of this. I am sure Mr. Lupin would appreciate his affairs staying private."

Sirius nodded miserably and left. He didn't feel hungry anymore.

('')

Two days passed before Madame Pomfrey relented and let Sirius in to see Remus. He'd been haunting the corridor outside the hospital wing during any free time, and she rather thought that he may have been ditching his classes as well.

Peter and James, while worried, couldn't muster the same panic Sirius had—after all, they hadn't seen Remus' broken body, only heard about it secondhand. So they were in the dining hall when Madame Pomfrey opened the door a crack and beckoned for Sirius to come in.

He rushed past her and quickly found Remus, collapsing next to his bed and grabbing the startled boy's hand in his.

"You're ok…" Sirius breathed, a smile on his face for the first time in days. Remus looked at him with wide eyes, unsure of what to say. Madame Pomfrey gave the pair a long look, and then told the boys she'd be in her office if they needed her.

"Uh, yea. Sorry you had to see that, Sirius… I got… mugged."

Sirius frowned, but decided to play along for the time being. "Who did it? They must have used some seriously dark magic, if you're still in the infirmary. I mean, you're all cut up still…" Sirius trailed off when Remus shifted uncomfortably and pulled his hand away.

"I don't remember anything. Just woke up, and I was here," Remus said, his eyes lowered to the blanket that covered his narrow frame.

Sirius looked at him, his head cocked to the side and a small frown playing at his lips. He took a breath. "You weren't mugged, Remus."

"Sure… I was…"

"No." Sirius bit his lip. He'd done a lot of thinking over the past few days, and it all made sense. The monthly disappearances, the unexplained injuries, the exhaustion, plus now this ridiculous 'mugging' excuse… "You're a werewolf, Remus."

Remus' mouth fell open in shock, and he seemed to collapse in on himself. He covered his face with his hands, and after a moment of fighting it, burst into tears. Sirius watched, shocked himself at this reaction.

"P-please, Sirius, d-don't t-tell anyone. I-I'll leave school, you don't have to see m-me a-again, just don't t-tell…" Remus forced out between sobs. Sirius stared at him, his mouth now open as well.

"What are you talking about, Remus? Leave school? Why would you do that?"

"C-cause I'm a dark creature, and-and dangerous and n-no one should be around me…"

"Yea, for one night a month, maybe. You're not very dangerous the rest of the time. A stiff breeze could knock you over," Sirius said, teasing slightly.

Remus had stopped crying, and was trying to wipe his face dry. Sirius reached across him and grabbed a towel from the bedside table. He gently wiped the moisture from Remus' cheeks, and then forced the other boy to meet his eyes.

"I don't care that you're a werewolf. I care that you're getting _hurt_. Why are you getting hurt?"

"You… don't care? You—you still want to—to be my friend?" Remus asked haltingly, ignoring the second part of the question.

Sirius snorted. "Of course I don't care. And of course I still want to be your friend, Rem. It's not like this is your fault. Someone bit you." Remus blinked, and opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out. Sirius smiled and pushed his shoulder slightly, and Remus found his voice.

"No one's ever just said, 'ok, so you're a werewolf,' to me before. It's a little shocking."

"Well, everyone you've met is a prick, then. Now, why are you getting hurt?"

Remus looked down, embarrassed again. "I get locked up during the full. I bite and tear at myself 'cause I can't get to anyone else."

Sirius reached out and ruffled Remus' hair. The other boy closed his eyes and couldn't meet his gaze. "Remus… I'm sorry. I wish I could make it better somehow."

Remus gulped. "You gonna tell James and Peter?"

"No, not unless you want to tell them," Sirius said softly, still stroking Remus' hair. "But James will figure it out eventually, if I did. Pete… I duno. He might figure it out, by fifth year or so."

Remus let out a little half-laugh at this. "Will you tell them with me?"

"Yea. You're not alone, Remus. I'm your friend, I'm not gonna leave you hanging." Sirius hesitated for a minute, then pulled Remus into an awkward hug. "Now, I'm gonna go get dinner. You want me to bring you back some soup or something?"

"Yea," Remus said, releasing Sirius, who stood up and turned to go. "Sirius?" The dark haired boy turned, questioning look on his face. "Thanks." Sirius smiled, and bounded away.

('')

The next day, Remus was well enough to go back to the dorms. He played nervously with his newest scar—the one that bisected his left cheek—and hoped that everyone else at school would believe his mugging story.

Sirius hadn't, but… that was Sirius. He was remarkably attuned to what was happening in his friend's lives. Remus wasn't really surprised that he'd figured it out. After all, the signs really were very obvious. But still, not even the full way through his second year, and someone had already found him out. His parents would have a nervous breakdown when he told them.

If he told them. It would probably be easier if he just didn't say anything to them—they couldn't cause a ruckus if they didn't know about this. His friends, on the other hand, (because Sirius and James and Peter had firmly and without apology become that) he owed them some sort of explanation.

Sirius already knew, true, and he was also right. James would figure it out soon, and Peter would too. Sirius' statement that it would take five years was a bit of an overstatement—Remus smiled to himself, thinking it surely wouldn't take more than three.

But now, he was at the entrance to his dorm room, and he had to go in. It was quiet for once when he slipped in—Peter reading and taking notes, James and Sirius sitting together, faces screwed up in concentration while they wrote out what appeared to be a Transfiguration essay.

"Remus!" Peter declared happily, breaking the silence. "You're back!" The other two boys looked up, essays forgotten, an easy smile on James' face as he scrambled to his feet, pushing his glasses back into place, and a broad grin on Sirius'.

After filling him in on missed homework, and exclaiming over the scar, ("It makes you look rugged," Peter had said, and had received a pillow to the face for the comment) James put his hands in his robe pockets and asked the question Remus had been dreading.

"So a mugging, Remus? What on earth?"

Remus took a breath and glanced at Sirius, who seemed to get the picture right away. The dark-haired boy moved closer and slug his arm around Remus' shoulders.

"Listen up, James, Pete. Remus has something to say." Remus gave him a Look. Not that he didn't appreciate the support, but that wasn't making things any easier…

"I haven't been going to visit my mom these past couple months," he said slowly, looking at the ground. He noticed Sirius holding up a hand to stop someone from speaking. "Sirius figured it out the other day, he convinced me that I should tell you guys, too."

He looked up, forcing himself to look at his friends. Who may not be his friends much longer—but he wouldn't think that right now.

"I'm a werewolf."

His announcement was greeted by a blank look from James and a short laugh from Peter.

"Funny, Remus, that's ridicu…lous.." Peter trailed off when he saw the serious look on his friend's face. "For real? Like change once a month, biting people werewolf?" He took a step backward.

"Yea, changing, but I-I've never bit anyone, I lock myself up during the full…" Peter's reaction was something he was used to. The blonde boy was looking at him with something new in his eyes—something Remus recognized. A hint of fear changes someone so much.

Remus turned to James, who still hadn't said anything. "How long have you been…?" James asked when Remus met his eyes.

"Since I was five."

James nodded, and then half-smiled. "It's all right. It's not like you're going to bite us. You're still Remus." Peter looked at him, absorbing his words, and then slowly nodded in agreement.

Remus relaxed slightly. This had been better than most times someone had found out he was a werewolf—one memory in particular of he and his parents being thrown out of a hotel when the owner asked point-blank stood out—but he could still feel a slight tension between the friends.

"See," Sirius said, turning Remus to face him. "I told you they'd be fine with it."

"Yea," Remus agreed, but the touch of fear in Peter's eyes stuck with him.


	3. Hogwarts by Night

**_Warnings: _**_None really. _

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters. No money is being made or offense is intended._

**_A/N:_ **_Year Three. Shorter chapter this time, sorry. The rest of the story is longer chapters, I promise. _

* * *

><p><strong>Hogwarts by Night<strong>

The third year at Hogwarts, James brought with him a fabulous new toy.

"It was my grandda's," James told his friends, as they oo'ed and aah'ed over the shining material. "He left it to me in his will—it's really rare."

"Think of all the things you can do with an invisibility cloak…" Sirius breathed. The boys all looked at one another for a moment before all breaking out talking at once.

"Sneak into McGonagall's office—"

"Nick from the kitchens—"

"Terrorize the first years!"

"Get out of school undetected…"

James, Sirius, and Peter shut up and turned to look at Remus, who had uttered this last statement and had a dreamy look on his face. Noticing they were all staring, he blushed.

"What? I mean, besides just strolling through the front gate—I bet there are loads of secret passageways 'round school. I mean, if there's the one that I use to the Shrieking Shack, there's probably more that lead into Hogsmeade. Probably."

Sirius grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him in excitement, leaving Remus slightly dazed.

"Moony, you are _brilliant_! Of course there's got to be more secret passageways and with this!" He held up the cloak and brandished it in James' face. "We can find them, with no risk of being caught! Amazing, Remus!"

('')

It was two in the morning, and Sirius and Remus were roaming the halls of Hogwarts, concealed by James' invisibility cloak. The boys had set up a schedule where each night, two of them got to wander. Originally, they all wanted to go together, but four boys under one cloak usually ended up in elbows in the eye and entirely too much noise. So, they switched off looking for secret passageways, two at a time.

So far, James and Peter had uncovered the tunnel behind Gregory the Smarmy—Peter had literally stumbled over the hem of the cloak and bashed his head into the statue, and dazed, had realized there was a small hole at its feet.

Sirius and James had discovered the large opening behind the mirror on the fourth floor. James claimed it was because Sirius had stopped to preen himself and had knocked into the hidden latch.

Remus was the only one who hadn't participated in the discovery of a secret passageway, and after months of searching, he was beginning to think there may not be any more.

"Right, Sirius, let's go back. I'm beat…" he said, hiding his yawn. They were standing near a statue of an odd, humpbacked witch on the third floor.

"Oh, not yet, Moony," Sirius whined, aimlessly tapping his wand on the witch's stony head. He was tired too, but wouldn't admit it—he was busy concentrating on how pleasant it was to have Remus pressed close to his back, and trying not to think about just _why_ that was pleasant. "_Reducio_," he muttered, tapping the witch's head, and cocked his own when nothing happened.

Remus slid from underneath the protection of the cloak, sat on the floor, and stared for moment in the direction of Sirius' head. "I'm tired. There's nothing here," he declared to the apparently empty air in front of him.

"No… this statue…" a voice floated to Remus from thin air.

"What about the statue?" Remus yawned again.

"It isn't affected by spells."

This got Remus' attention. He stood and looked critically at the statue, reading the plaque, mouthing the witch's name to himself. "I didn't think Gundhilda was supposed to have such a large humpback. I thought it was more a bump…"

"How the hell do you know that?" Sirius asked, pulling the cloak off and grinning at Remus.

"I occasionally pay attention to Professor Binns..." answered Remus distractedly.

"Yea, well, you're the only one…"

Remus snorted, and tapped the witch, muttering "_Revealio_," and frowning when nothing happened. He began to rapidly cycle through all the spells he knew—starting with anything that would force the statue to show its secrets, and then moving to spells that would break or undo. He paused again, staring at the witch with a thoughtful look on his face. Sirius yawned.

"_Dissendium_?" Remus asked half-heartedly, tapping his wand on the witch's back. A grinding noise made both boys jump, and they stared, open-mouthed, as the hump slid to the side, revealing a narrow tunnel.

"Remus!" Sirius practically yelled, then lowered his voice when he Remus flashed him a Look. "Remus… you're brilliant!" he whispered, and climbed up, hesitating for only a second before he slid through the hole.

"Sirius!" Remus whispered, eyes wide. "Siri! Where'd you go?"

"I'm fine, it's a slide." Sirius' voice floated up from beneath the statue. "Grab the cloak, come on!"

Remus hesitated for a few seconds, but then dumped the cloak down the hole and levered himself up, grinding his teeth as he looked down into the blackness.

"Remus! Hurry up!" Sirius sounded impatient. Remus rolled his eyes and smiled. Damn Sirius and his overly excited nature… he jumped and found himself sliding down a smooth incline. He squeaked as he picked up speed, but then landed, his fall softened by Sirius' head.

"Ow…" Sirius groaned, and Remus giggled, trying to separate their tangled limbs.

"You shouldn't have been standing under the chute, wanker," Remus said, and gave Sirius a shove.

"Yea, yea…" Sirius responded, and pulled himself to his feet. "We gonna follow the tunnel or jaw all night?" He silently thanked the near-total blackness for hiding the blush that had overtaken his face. Stupid Remus and his stupid… body… or something…

Rustling from somewhere to his right told Sirius that Remus had pulled out his wand, and a moment later, the werewolf muttered "_Lumos_" and they were no longer standing in the darkness. "C'mon, this way," Remus grinned, and they took off, running quickly down the sloped passageway.

A bit shy of an hour later, when they emerged in the basement of Honeyduke's, they were dusty and sneezing, but thrilled. Sirius carefully picked out a bar of Remus' favorite chocolate (dark, with a nougat center) and presented it to the other boy on bended knee. They each took a big bite and collapsed into giggles.

They wandered around for a few more minutes, carefully avoiding the intruder-detecting spells on the doors and windows, before they realized what time it was and needed to go back. Sirius led the way downstairs, and Remus paused, dropping a few sickles on the counter that covered the candy they'd snacked on.

They jogged most of the way back down the tunnel to school—they were cutting it very close to get back before the sun rose. Finally though, they arrived at the small chamber underneath the Gundhilda statue.

Sirius looked up. The opening of the statue was about thirty feet above them, and the slide they'd used to get down was slick. "Shit, I didn't even think about how to get back. How're we supposed to get up there?"

Remus held his wand high to carefully inspect the sides of the slide. "I think…" he felt along the wall. "Yea. The walls have handholds. We can climb back up." He held his wand in his teeth so they'd still have light, and started climbing.

Sirius watched him, his head cocked slightly to the side. Remus was so… brilliant, and Sirius loved that he was equally brilliant when he was studying for classes or when he was breaking the rules. _Plus_, he mused as Remus climbed higher, _he is bloody gorgeous and wonderful and… I really should stop thinking stuff like this… _

Remus had reached the top of the slide, and tapped the inside of the witch's hump, whispering "_Dissendium,_" and the opening appeared again. He turned to look at Sirius. "You coming, Siri?"

The raven-haired boy smiled. "Yea, just making sure you weren't going to slide down on my head again." Remus rolled his eyes and levered himself out of the tunnel, pulling out the invisibility cloak as he soon as he was out. Sirius quickly climbed over the same path Remus had taken, and a minute later was pulling himself out of the tunnel as well.

Remus threw the cloak over Sirius' head, and they both giggled, a little punch-drunk on adrenaline and exhaustion. They were face to face, and for a brief, insane moment, Sirius almost leaned forward and captured that smiling mouth with his own. But reason overcame madness, and instead he whispered, "Let's get back. James and Pete are going to love this."

Remus nodded, and they snuck back to the Gryffindor dorms, arriving just as the first students left for breakfast. They slipped through the portrait hole unnoticed, but didn't take off the invisibility cloak until they were safely back in their room.

"Wake up!" Sirius yelled as soon as the door closed behind them, jumping onto James' bed and shaking the other boy into wakefulness.

"Bugger _off_, some of us were sleeping," James grumbled, and pulled his pillow over his head.

Changing tactics, Sirius stood and announced grandly that they'd found another secret passage. "And you'll never guess where this one leads! Go on, Remus, tell 'em."

Remus was caught mid-yawn, but the other two boys, awake now, turned to him expectantly. "Yea, sorry, I'm beat… the tunnel starts by the statue of Gundhilda on the third floor, and it leads to Honeydukes." He yawned again. "Do we have any of that Pepper-Up potion? I can't miss Charms today…"

James started rummaging in his trunk for their secret stash of the potion, already babbling about what a spectacular find this new passageway was. After he found the potion, he handed it to Remus and then started getting ready for the day. Remus happily drank some down and passed it to Sirius.

"Moony was _perfect_," Sirius exulted between swigs. "Knew the right spell, got it in no time, really. You're bloody brilliant, Remus." He smiled, and Remus blushed.

"Lucky, is all," the younger boy mumbled, but he was drowned out by the other three excitedly planning a raid on Honeyduke's sometime in the next couple weeks.

"Ya know," Jams mused, "We're finding out an awful lot of Hogwart's secrets. Maybe we should make a map…"

Everyone thought that seemed like a good idea.


	4. The Closet

**_Warnings: _**_discussion of sexuality, mentions of underage masturbation_

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters. No money is being made or offense is intended._

**_A/N:_ **_Year Four. Things are stirring... _

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><p><strong>The Closet<strong>

During the boys' fourth year at Hogwarts, Sirius officially came out.

One night, a month or so after school had started up again, the black-haired boy theatrically flung open the door to their dorm, checked to make sure the other three were there, and said, (throwing his arms over his head for dramatic effect) "I like birds _and_ blokes. Problems?"

Peter blinked, then hesitantly leaned over to ask Remus if this was supposed to be surprising news. Remus had absently shaken his head and gone back to muttering a particularly difficult charm. James had merely grunted, and when an outraged Sirius asked them "Just what the hell?" James had informed him they all knew already.

"How would you know that?" Sirius huffed, arms crossed and riled that his announcement was met with such lackluster enthusiasm.

"Well, you're not exactly the most… I mean, you don't really…" James floundered, trying to simultaneously reassure Sirius that a) they didn't care, and b) had known practically since they first met him.

"All we're trying to say, mate, is it's kinda obvious," Pete offered. "Nothing specific, just how you… are?"

James nodded. "I mean, look how you flirt with Remus!"

Sirius turned bright red, and Remus finally looked up, his face a mixture of confusion and disbelief. "Sirius doesn't flirt with me…?"

"Sure he does," James laughed. "You just don't notice cause he's been doing it since the minute you met. You think that's just how he acts."

Sirius spluttered, looking between the other three, then finally turned to Remus, hands held palms up in a peace gesture. Remus was staring back at him, his face open and calm.

Sirius opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it, and turned and practically ran from the room. James and Peter collapsed laughing, but Remus watched his friend go, a now unreadable expression on his face.

A few hours later, Sirius reappeared and sulked to bed, pulling his curtains tightly. Neither James nor Peter, showing unusual restraint, mentioned his flirting with Remus again.

('')

"Mathilda Murray. She's gorgeous. Just… perfect and pretty and… and gorgeous." Peter lamented, his voice wistful. He was slouching in a chair near the fire in the Gryffindor common room. James was perched next to him in another armchair, and Remus and Sirius were reclining on the couch.

The topic of the night: Who at Hogwarts would be the best to snog?

"It's not about who's pretty and gorgeous, Pete. It's about _snogging_. Do you think your perfect girlie would be a good one to kiss?" Sirius asked, not looking at Peter. He was using his wand to keep a ball elevated over his and Remus' heads, occasionally dipping it down to touch lightly on the sandy-haired boy's cheek, much to Remus' annoyance.

"Yea," Peter answered honestly. "I mean, I don't really want to snog anyone but her…"

"I know how you feel, mate," James grinned. "It's Lily Evans all the way for me. I have eyes for no one else." He made sure his voice was raised enough that the girl in question overheard him.

"Shut it, Potter!" Lily called, not looking up from where she was working on her homework across the common room.

"Anything for you, my beautiful flower!" James called, and an enchanted book flew across the room and hit him upside the head.

The other three fell apart laughing as James pulled himself back into the chair (he'd toppled over trying to avoid the book) and he scowled at them. "Right then, smart-arses. Sirius. Who'd you pick? And no speaking from experience—someone new."

"Well that narrows the field a bit, eh?" Sirius responded good-naturedly. "Hm… Luella Spooney, that Ravenclaw bird, might be nice. Or Andrew Porter. Mmm. I think I'd go with Andrew." Peter and James both rolled their eyes.

"Right, Sirius, so makeouts across the board… how about you, Rem?" James asked, genuinely curious. None of the other boys had ever seen Remus show any interest in anyone, girl or boy. Truthfully, this conversation was James' secret and devious plan to figure out where Remus stood on the matter.

Remus shrugged. "Duno. Never given it much thought."

"Surely there's someone," Sirius said, sitting up and letting the ball fall directly on Remus' head.

"Not really…" Remus said, rubbing where the ball had hit him and now tossing it at Sirius, who caught it deftly. "I just never really… duno. Maybe it's a…" he lowered his voice. "you know, something to do with my… problem."

"Hm," James mused, his face thoughtful. "Do you wank?"

Remus' eyes turned to saucers. "Why… I… That's not… I mean…" he spluttered.

James rolled his eyes. "Who do you think of when you do?"

"I-I don't!" Remus looked around at his friends, each sporting an identical incredulous look. "What? I don't. It just… doesn't really appeal…?"

"That's kinda weird, Remus." Ah, Peter, ever tactful. Sirius glared at him, and Remus turned pink.

"It's fine, Moony," Sirius said, turning to Remus and grabbing his hand. Remus jerked away and got up, muttering something about an early night. The other three watched him go, before Sirius turned on Peter.

"You're a twat," he spat. "Remus doesn't need to feel more isolated than he already does."

Peter at least the decency to look properly ashamed.

"I'm gonna go talk to him, leave us be for a bit, right?" Sirius said, turning to follow Remus upstairs. Pete nodded, but James grinned fiendishly.

"Don't try anything I wouldn't do!" he laughed, and Sirius swooped to pick up the book Lily had shot at James earlier and threw it at his head, causing James to again topple backwards off the chair.

"Tosser!" James called good-naturedly to his retreating back, and Sirius shot him a two-fingered salute.

Sirius climbed the stairs, and smiled when he realized Remus had put a locking spell on their dorm door. It took him a few minutes, but he eventually broke it, and he ignored Remus' huff of annoyance when he stepped through the threshold.

"What do you want?" Remus mumbled, his voice muffled under his sheets. Sirius sat down next to the lump in the blankets, and leaned back.

"It's fine, you know. Pete's a right arse, but you know it doesn't matter. You're still you, you can not have sex and not snog and… stuff. I don't care."

Silence from under the covers.

"Rem?"

Silence.

"C'mon, Moony. Talk to me."

Remus sat up, pulling the covers away from his face. "It _should_ matter, Sirius. Pete's right, I'm weird. I don't have any sort of… feelings… like that for anyone. I duno. Maybe I'm not supposed to feel stuff like that—the world wouldn't want werewolves _breeding_, for chrissake."

"You shouldn't talk like that," Sirius said, suddenly annoyed. He hated that Remus bought into all this werewolves-are-second-class shite.

"What? What would happen if I knocked some bird up? Would we have pups? I don't know, no one knows. It's best this way."

"You could be gay…"

Remus shrugged. "Maybe. That's just it, I have no idea. I mean, you knew you were bi from, when? When you could tell the difference between genders?"

Sirius mirrored the shrug. "I guess I've always been pretty certain… but that doesn't mean it's the same for everyone. Hell, my uncle realized he was gay when he was thirty-seven! He was married, had kids, the whole thing, and now he lives in a flat in London with his partner, Liam. They're very cute."

Remus smiled. "Yea, but… I bet he felt _something_ when he was a kid. I _know_ I'm weird—I don't feel anything. No… ah… sexual thoughts." He blushed, and Sirius shot him a half-smile. They were quiet for a minute, then Sirius shifted uncomfortably.

"You know, since we're already discussing incredibly awkward topics… we never really talked about earlier this year…"

Remus made a mildly inquisitive noise, and started tracing the pattern on his duvet. He knew where Sirius was going with this.

"They're right…" Sirius said, not looking at him. "I flirt with you, but… I don't… I mean, I don't mean much by it. I don't want you to be uncomfortable. I can try to stop if you'd want me to…"

Remus shook his head slightly. "I don't mind, Siri. I've thought about what they said, and since it doesn't bother me, you don't need to try and change how you act around me. I just… well, I don't think of stuff like that, as we have discovered tonight. And…" he took a breath and steeled himself, continuing in a rush of words. "if you've got a crush on me or something, you shouldn't wait or anything, cause as far as I can tell, I'm asexual."

"Yea," Sirius agreed, trying to cheer Remus up, and pushing away the stray feeling of disappointment in his chest. "There'll be no waiting on my part. Besides, it's much more important that we're mates, and I'm here if you… need to talk or something."

"Thanks," Remus smiled. "And maybe it _is_ something to do with the wolf. Maybe someday I won't be a _complete_ weirdo."

Sirius nodded, starting to smile again. "Whatever, really. You can be as weird as you want. You're still bloody brilliant."

Remus grinned, and the topic changed, and an hour or so later when James and Peter came up, the atmosphere of the room was as relaxed and happy as usual.

('')

Several months later, the night after the full, Remus woke in the infirmary with a raging hard-on—his first, ever. Honestly, he was slightly startled by this turn of events, and rather unsure of what to do.

That night, he chose to ignore it, and after awhile, it went away.

But a few days later, back in their dorm, Remus pulled Sirius aside. Sirius was concerned—Remus was bent over slightly and flushed.

"What's wrong?" he asked, trying to get Remus to stand up.

"No, no," Remus mumbled, sitting down and fidgeting. "Uh, how do I make it go away? I've never thought about it…" Sirius started at him, confused, until Remus rolled his eyes and gestured to his crotch.

Sirius' eyes widened when he realized that Remus had an obviously painful erection. He let out short, barking laugh, and Remus glared.

"Go to the loo, toss one off," Sirius told the smaller boy, and Remus looked positively miserable at this solution.

"Why won't it just go away…?"

"Cause they don't," Sirius said, laughing again. "Really, Moony, this is not a big deal."

"It _is_," Remus insisted. "This never used to happen, I don't like it…"

"So you're not asexual, then," Sirius shrugged. "It's fine." He grabbed Remus' shoulder and steered him toward the bathroom, letting go when they reached the door. "Have fun!" He shoved Remus in, and shut the door smartly behind him.

Remus floundered in the bathroom for long minutes, trying to focus on someone that would be acceptable to wank to. Several girls flashed through his mind, but all were quickly rejected. Maybe boys, then… he cast around his mind, but only one boy came to mind—the very one who had told him to come in here in the first place.

His eyes widened when his cock twitched as he thought about Sirius. This had the possibility of being bad. He desperately tried to get his mind out of the gutter, and finally was able to call up an image of a faceless, well-built man—that seemed to do the trick. So he _was_ gay, then…

Twenty minutes later, Remus emerged, looking relieved.

"Was it as terrible as you thought?" Sirius asked, glancing up from his Divination book. Remus shook his head and turned red.

Sirius smiled and went back to ignoring Remus, who was watching him out of the corner of his eye. He didn't have a crush on Sirius—they were best friends. That was ridiculous, and he had been wound up and nervous, that was all, and he didn't know proper wanking procedure, and no. No crush on Sirius. Even if he was almost positive Sirius had a crush on him.

After hours of over-analyzing and staring blindly at the ceiling, long past the time when the other boys had returned and fallen asleep, Remus sighed and rolled over. Of course he was a gay werewolf. Because no part of life could be normal for him, god forbid. He didn't sleep that night.

In the next bed over, however, Sirius slept happy in the knowledge that Remus wasn't as sexless as he'd thought. In his dreams, he was kissing a certain werewolf until he couldn't see straight.


	5. Remus is Not Alone

**_Warnings: _**_suicidal musings (attempt?), gore_

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters. No money is being made or offense is intended._

**_A/N: _**_Year Five! Also, alright, I seriously screwed up. After I finished writing this, I thought 'maybe I should look up time frames and whatnot from canon' (jeez I'm dumb) and _apparently_ I got the year of the Prank wrong. I thought it was year 6, it actually happened in year 5. Super fail on my part. So! *waves hands mystically* ignore canon-this is _MY_ canon, I do what I want. I couldn't fix it, I would have had to re-write the rest of the series and I actually _do_ have a life... so. Please don't yell at me in the comments, I know I effed up. :) _

* * *

><p><strong>Remus is Not Alone<strong>

Remus was sitting in the open window of the dorm, his legs dangling out over the side of Gryffindor tower. He grasped the sill tightly and leaned forward, his breath hitching when he felt his balance shift precariously. If he let go now, he'd fall close to three hundred feet before he hit the school grounds.

Eyes closed… deep breath…

He didn't notice the door to the dorm open behind him, or the shocked and terrified look on Sirius' face when he registered the scene unfolding before him.

"Merlin, Remus! What are you doing?" Sirius yelled, and Remus started, his grip slipping and almost tipping the rest of the way out the window before Sirius grabbed the hem of his robes and bodily hauled him backwards into the dorm, both of them collapsing in a mess of limbs on the stone floor.

He glared up at Sirius from the ground, and the black-haired boy raked his eyes over Remus, checking for injury. Then, his worried expression turned hard, and he pushed Remus back down, making the boy smack his head on the stones.

"What the hell were you doing hanging out the bloody window! You have a death wish?" Sirius spat.

Remus' eyes flashed, and he shoved Sirius off him. "So what if I did? The world would be better off with one less werewolf, yea?"

Sirius' mouth fell open at this admission. "You… you can't mean that…?"

"I do!" Remus shouted. "I should just kill myself now and get it over with. My parents could stop worrying about me, I'd save you lot endless trouble, and I'd cut back on the cost for the Ministry when they eventually decide to put me down. Best for all, really." He crossed his arms and looked like he might cry.

"No, no, no, Moony," Sirius mumbled, and pulled the other boy into a tight hug. "Don't think like this, you can't think like this, things will get better."

Remus allowed himself to relax in Sirius' arms for a moment before pulling away. "It won't though," he responded, his hand rising to repeatedly and unconsciously trace over the scar on his cheek. "Not with… that…" he gestured toward his bed, where a copy of the Daily Prophet was open to the second page.

Sirius glanced over, and even though he'd read through the article fifty times already, he grimaced, just as furious now as he'd been a week ago when the paper was delivered.

**Mandatory Registration of Dark Creatures Now in Effect**, declared the headline. The article continued to explain how due to the rising number of practitioners of Dark Magic, the Ministry had decided that all 'Dark Creatures' would now be closely monitored.

What is boiled down to was the already-hard adult life Remus had been dreading would now become next to impossible. After he turned seventeen, he'd have the same version of the Trace spell applied to him that was used to track criminals. He'd likely never get a job, regardless of qualifications. And if he ever stepped one toe out of line, his rights wouldn't guarantee a trial—he could be thrown in Azkaban, or even executed, on the whim of whoever happened to be handling his case.

"Why would I want to live like that?" Remus whispered, and Sirius glowered.

"Cause what the Ministry is doing right now is wrong. And people won't stand for it. People who actually _know_ werewolves won't stand for it. You're not a monster, Remus."

Remus let out a shaky breath, but looked at the ground. He couldn't make eye contact with Sirius, not if he wanted to get out what had been plaguing his conscience. So instead of telling Sirius, he talked to the floor. "I'm always gonna be alone. No matter how amazing and wonderful you… and James and Peter, of course… are, one night a month, it's just me, and if I'm not a monster the rest of the time, that night I am. And that's never gonna change."

Sirius drew back slightly, resting on his heels. He thought furiously—James and Peter might be angry with him if he showed Remus their surprise, but they weren't ready yet. He was. And Remus needed this, needed the support. He made up his mind.

"Rem," he said firmly, grabbing the other boy's chin and forcing him to look at him. Remus sucked in a breath, and Sirius caught a glimpse of something (not longing, Remus doesn't _long_) before the other boy hastily blanked his face. Sirius shook his head—that look was something to be investigated later. For now—

"You're not going to be alone. Not anymore. I figured out a way, and me and the chaps have been working on it for months—hell, years, now. It's supposed to be a surprise, but they're not quite ready. I am, though. I want to show you…"

Remus was frowning slightly. "What are you on about, Sirius? You can't…" he trailed off as Sirius pushed himself up off the floor and stepped back.

Sirius closed his eyes and took a stabilizing breath. _Concentrate, clear your mind, be confident…_ He felt the changes in his body start: an odd, pulling, somewhat tight sensation, but not painful… just odd.

And then it was over and an enormous, scruffy black dog had replaced his human form. He smiled a doggy smile at Remus, who had gone very still, and whose mouth had actually fallen open in shock.

Sirius sniffed. He could _smell_ Remus. He could smell the toast he'd eaten for dinner, the beans he'd dragged his sleeve in, and the bite of chocolate he'd had after getting back to the dorms. His hands reeked of ink and soap—he'd spilled an inkwell earlier in the day. Sirius moved closer, and Remus, still shocked, slowly reached out a hand and placed it on Sirius' head.

"How… what…"

Flashing another doggy grin, Sirius turned his head and licked Remus' hand. He tasted delicious—a hint of salt, that soap he'd smelled, and something earthy and distinctively _Remus._ The thought flashed through his mind that he could happily lick Remus all day.

Now the werewolf was running his hands over Sirius' body, digging his fingers into his fur, rubbing lightly at his ears, picking up and inspecting a large paw. His eyes were wide and reverential. "Sirius… you did this for me?"

Nodding felt weird as a dog.

The next instant, Remus had thrown his arms around Sirius' neck, and was clinging on tightly. Sirius nuzzled into the other boy, and then decided to change back. Remus tensed as he felt the shift from dog to boy under his fingers, but didn't let go. And now, human again, Sirius hugged Remus back.

"You won't have to be alone anymore, Moony. I can change with you during the fulls, and we can stay together, and I can stop you from hurting yourself, and you won't attack me cause I won't be human, and it will be wonderful."

Remus tightened his grip, and Sirius suddenly became extremely aware of just how physically close they were. He gasped as his body started reacting, and so pulled back before Remus could notice. Fortunately, Remus was much too excited to notice much of anything.

"How did you do this?"

Sirius forced his mind away from how pleasurable it was to be pressed against the other boy and answered, his voice growing stronger as he talked. "Well, in third year, James and Pete and I were trying to think of something to help you with your transformations. I don't like seeing you like… I mean, you're always hurt…" He stopped, embarrassed. Remus gave him a gentle shove.

"I know it bothers you, Siri. Go on."

Sirius smiled at his friend. "Anyway, we did some research, and I realized that werewolves don't hunt animals, unless in a pack or something. So we actually first thought we could get you a dog, but that was impractical. And then McGonagall did her Animagus demonstration, and it sort of clicked.

"I mean, it's illegal. We didn't register with the Ministry cause we're too young, and it's taken forever to get the spells right, but we're almost done. I'm a dog, of course, you just saw, and James is a stag, and Peter's a rat. Pete's having a hell of a time, but he really wants this, wants to be there for you as much as James and I do…

"And we were thinking, if we're there, to sorta… temper the wolf, you'd be able to, I duno, go do stuff. We could run around the Forbidden Forest, and James and I would be big enough animals that we could easily keep you in check."

Sirius stopped, watching Remus for his reaction. Remus didn't disappoint—he grinned and hugged Sirius, briefly, again.

"I don't know about leaving the Shack," he said finally, "but having someone there would definitely help calm me down. I think a lot of the time I hurt myself is cause I'm pent up and bored."

"I could change with you this month, if you want," Sirius said softly. "James and Pete aren't ready, not yet, but should be within the next couple months. But I don't want you to be alone anymore."

Remus actually started crying at this, and Sirius grabbed him again, concerned. Remus waved him off.

"No, I'm just… I can't believe this… I'm so fucking happy, Sirius! You've no idea…" And Remus, overcome with joy and with a burst of bravery, kissed Sirius on the cheek. The raven-haired boy turned bright red, but then grinned and changed back into a dog. He bounced around the room, and Remus watched him play, a huge smile plastered on his face.

('')

Four nights later was the full moon. Remus walked to the Whomping Willow as usual, accompanied by Madame Pomfrey, also as usual, but tonight, Sirius followed in James' invisibility cloak.

Sirius slipped into the Shack behind Madame Pomfrey, and listened in as she fussed at Remus.

"I'll see you in the morning, dear," the woman finally commented, laying a supporting hand on Remus' shoulder. "It will be alright, tonight." Remus nodded silently, and bid her goodbye as she retreated through the secret passageway, locking it behind her.

A minute of silence to make sure she was really gone later, and then Remus let out a tentative, "Sirius?"

"I'm here," he said, pulling off the cloak.

"Are you sure you want to do this? What if I hurt you anyway?"

"You won't. Especially cause I'm a dog, and you're a wolf. You won't hurt me."

Remus looked nervous, and Sirius grabbed and pulled him into a quick hug. Remus stepped back, some indefinable emotion flitting across his face, and took a deep breath. He glanced out the window.

"Just a minute more or so. You should change."

Sirius concentrated, and a moment later, the large dog again stood in front of Remus. He stared at Sirius' new form, a concerned look still on his features.

"Don't watch me change," he said quietly. "It's pretty… not good." Sirius licked his hand, trying to reassure, and then whined softly as a spasm of pain made Remus double over.

Remus quickly undressed, willing himself to not be embarrassed at his nakedness with Sirius present. He folded his clothes and the invisibility cloak, stowing everything under a loose floorboard. He'd learned long ago that anything left out was fair game to the wolf.

He whimpered as another spasm shook him, and he fell to the ground. The change would start in earnest now. Suddenly a cold nose nuzzled into his side, and Remus tensed. He'd almost forgotten he wasn't alone tonight.

"Sirius…" he mumbled, placing a gentle hand on the dog's muzzle. "Be careful, yea? Don't let me hurt you…" The dog nodded.

A bolt of pain shot through Remus' body, signaling the beginning of the actual change. He couldn't hold it in—he screamed, collapsed sideways, and curled into a ball on the ground. Sirius stepped back, suddenly terrified. He knew transformations were horrific—he'd read enough about them and Remus had let enough slip—but he had never really _thought_ about it. Never realized how terrible Remus' agony would be. But despite what Remus had instructed, he wouldn't look away. He would be here with his friend through everything.

A gruesome grinding noise shot through the room, and Sirius heard several sharp and distinct snaps—Remus' bones were breaking and reforming. Claws pushed through the ends of his fingers and toes, bleeding slightly, and his hands and feet started shrinking into paws.

Remus' spine elongated, forming a tail—currently just covered in pale stretching skin, hairless. It became more pronounced along his back, each vertebrae standing out sharply on too-tight skin, and or a moment, Sirius thought it was going to tear straight through, ripping his back to shreds. A few dark red specks of blood marred Remus' white back where the bone was slicing through the skin, but then the stretching stopped, and now fur was rippling down his body.

The boy's sobs and screams were turning into whines and howls, growing deeper in timbre as his ribcage expanded. His face was elongating, his ears migrating and enlarging, and there were the teeth, those terrible, sharp, tearing teeth… The last to change were Remus' eyes, lightening to a piercing gold even as the humanness within them was extinguished.

Remus was gone. In his place, a dazed-looking wolf lay panting on the ground. It pulled itself to its feet, shook all over, and tipped its head up, a haunting, mournful howl echoing through the house. Then the head lowered, and golden eyes turned to Sirius.

The wolf growled.

_Fuck_, Sirius had time to think, and then the wolf was circling him, hackles raised, lips curled back in a steady snarl. Sirius lowered himself to the ground, whining, and half-rolled over, exposing his belly to the beast. _Please please please don't kill me, Remus, please_.

Sirius felt the cold press of a nose running along his side, moving to his neck, pausing at his ears. The moment stretched into infinity, and he tried to tentatively wag his tail. Suddenly, the wolf stepped back and gave him a look that Sirius somehow knew meant he had passed the test.

He rolled over and got to his feet, his usual confidence reasserting itself. He grinned a doggy grin, wagged his tail, and bowed down, asking Moony to play. The wolf made what could only have been a happy noise, and the rest of the night was a blur.

('')

The change back in the morning was just as painful and terrifying as the one the evening before, but for the first time ever, Remus was caught in strong arms before he hit the ground.

"S'ok?" he mumbled into Sirius' chest, and held onto consciousness long enough to hear Sirius' affirmation of a night well-spent. Sirius carefully lay him on the ground, unsure whether or not to cover him up. He eventually decided against it—he didn't know how Remus usually greeted Madame Pomfrey.

Sirius had been mildly disappointed that he hadn't stopped Remus from hurting himself entirely. At one point, the werewolf had busied himself chewing on his leg, and had also torn a few deep scratches into his chest during the morning change. But overall, Sirius generally thought this transformation had gone well. He wondered what Madame Pomfrey would think.

Speaking of—after a few minutes of watching Remus sleep, he heard footsteps on the stairs of the secret passageway. Sirius quickly unearthed the invisibility cloak and covered himself just in time. He was exhausted, but still curious—how did the rest of this ritual go?

The woman stepped briskly into the room, her arms full of bandages, and stopped short when she saw Remus lying peacefully on the floor. Sirius watched her face open in surprise at the young man's apparent lack of wounds, and felt inordinately pleased with himself.

"Remus," the Healer called, kneeling down next to the boy, tucking a blanket around his waist and shaking him slightly. Remus groggily turned over, clutching at the blanket, and sat up, cradling his head in his hands.

"Remus," the woman said again, her voice light and happy. "How did you do it? You're barely hurt! I think I could even…" she pulled out her wand and murmured a quiet spell, the scratches on his chest immediately fading to scars. The wound on his leg was a bit deeper, and required a light bandage. But still, Remus was smiling as he took inventory of his body.

As they walked back to the castle, Remus listened to Madame Pomfrey gush about how maybe this was a turning point, maybe he wouldn't hurt himself as much. He smiled and nodded in all the right places, and when he was allowed to return to the dorms that very morning, the first thing he did was pull Sirius into a crushing hug and whisper "Thank you," in his ear.


	6. Things Come to a Head

**_Warnings: _**_discussion of sexuality, gore. _

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters. No money is being made or offense is intended._

**_A/N:_ **_Year six. Again, there's my mess up with the Marauder timeline, but meh. I've had a couple people voice concerns that this is going to be over too soon, what with the one chapter a year thing-I'm planning on several one-shot stories that will tie into this piece to explain things a bit more. Think of this as a framework. Bits and pieces will be filled in eventually. :) _

* * *

><p><strong>Things Come to a Head<strong>

Over the summer before sixth year, Sirius finally snapped and left the Black household, getting disowned in the process. Perhaps as a result, he began to act rather more grown-up than his sixteen years warranted.

Once back at school, he didn't laugh as much. His role in instigating pranks fell to James. He didn't seem to have the desire or energy to keep a façade of childish happiness around his friends, though he acted his same cocky self around the rest of the students. In fact, most people didn't notice much was wrong with him. If anything, teachers breathed sighs of relief as the whirlwind of destruction that was Sirius Black seemed to lose some of its bluster.

Remus worried about him. Sometimes at night, especially after days when Regulus was particularly acerbic, the werewolf could hear his friend shifting and tossing into the early hours of the morning. And finally, one particularly bad night, (the day before the full, he was aching and wouldn't sleep well anyway) as he listened to Sirius snuffle into his bedsheets, Remus threw off his covers and padded over.

"Budge over," he mumbled, sliding through the curtains surrounding Sirius' bed. A sharp intake of breath and the creak of the mattress shifting told Remus that Sirius was complying. Remus sat with his back pressed against the headboard, and thought about what to say.

"You're brave, you know," he commented to the darkness, and Sirius snorted in response. "No, really. You've done what probably most wizards—hell, people in general—can't do. Go against years of brainwashing and family expectations to be… who you should be. It's very brave."

Silence for a moment, then Sirius shifted so he was sitting as well, his strong shoulder brushing against Remus' bony one. "I don't feel very brave sometimes. I feel like a scared, stupid kid, and I wonder if they'd take me back if I went, begging."

"But you don't. Go begging, I mean."

"There _is_ that."

Silence for a long time, then.

"Remus?"

"Mmm."

"I have a crush on you. Terrible, stupid crush."

"I know."

Silence again.

"In retrospect, it may have been a bit foolish to climb into your bed at night with that knowledge firmly in my mind," Remus finally said, but Sirius could hear the smile in his voice. "And I've told you before, I don't mind."

"I would very much like to kiss you right now…"

"Not tonight, Padfoot." Remus felt Sirius turn to face him, even through the darkness was far too complete to see anything.

"…That was a very open statement, Remus." Sirius hesitantly brought his hand up to thread through the werewolf's hair, and Remus relaxed his head into Sirius' hold.

"I'm being deliberately ambiguous because I'm not sure what I want. I certainly have strong feelings for you, but I don't know if they are romantic or not. I don't want to… mess anything up, Sirius. You understand?"

"Yes." Sirius felt slightly sick, and was unsure if it was from disappointment or hope. They lapsed into silence again, and after a few more minutes, Remus went back to his own bed.

Over the next few months, they settled into a pattern of subdued flirting, and Sirius let the hope grow in his chest until the night he destroyed everything.

('')

"I don't want to talk to you." Remus said through gritted teeth, staring at the ceiling of the infirmary, but unable to move. He was worse than Sirius had ever seen him—deep gashes and broken bones and radiating pure fury. Madame Pomfrey had placed him in a full-body bind so he couldn't move to reopen his wounds and make himself bleed more.

"Please, Remus, please…"

"Fuck off, Black! Get out of here!"

Sirius retreated, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. He slid through the infirmary doors, and stopped short when he found Dumbledore waiting for him outside. The tears that had been threatening now spilled over, and he collapsed, sobbing.

"I didn't mean it, I'm sorry, I didn't think, I've lost him, I'm so sorry…" he cried out, and Dumbledore gently lifted him to his feet and directed him toward his office.

"I will not pretend that your actions were acceptable, Mr. Black. I fear we have much to discuss."

('')

Sirius wasn't expelled, but it was a close thing. All pranking immediately stopped (especially anything that could come close to affecting Snape) and Sirius threw himself into studying, mostly ignoring the entire population of the school (Peter and James included). He did not ignore Remus.

"Please talk to me." He'd lost track of how many times he'd said these words to the werewolf. Remus remained silent. They were walking quickly down a corridor, and Sirius lengthened his stride to keep up with the other boy. Remus glared at him, and Sirius tried again.

"I'm sorry…"

"You should be," Remus snapped, and pushed Sirius back, mumbling the password to the prefect's bathroom so he couldn't hear it and disappearing inside. Sirius slumped to the ground outside the opening, and buried his face in his arms.

('')

Remus had started sleeping the Room of Requirement to avoid Sirius. He sat with a few friends of his in Ravenclaw at meals, didn't study alone in the library, avoided the Gryffindor common room, and changed seats if Sirius sat near him in classes.

But tonight was the full moon—the first since the Prank, and Sirius finally caught up to the other boy, pulling him into an abandoned classroom shortly before dinner. Sirius locked the door behind them, and Remus gave him a condescending look.

"I want to be there tonight."

"I don't want you to. I think I've made it perfectly clear that I don't want anything to do with you anymore, Black," Remus stated calmly, and Sirius cringed.

"Remus, it's… James can't handle Moony on his own, and Wormtail's useless. They're scared. And… and I promised you you'd never be alone again, and I plan on keeping that promise." He crossed his arms and lifted his chin defiantly. "I know you hate me now, but I don't think the wolf hates Padfoot. I can help."

"Like you helped when you sent Severus to his death?"

Sirius closed his eyes. "No. I was wrong. That was the worst mistake I've ever made in my life, and even if, by some miracle, you forgave me someday, I'll never forgive myself. I could have killed him."

Remus rounded on him, his eyes flashing. "No, Sirius! _I_ would have killed him! You almost made me a murderer! _And_, you would have given the Ministry cause to _execute_ me! Your _stupid_, idiotic, _dense_ brain didn't even _think_ about that!" He turned away, panting.

Sirius paled. He _hadn't_ thought about that. And no one had mentioned it, but it was perfectly true. If Remus had so much as scraped Snape, he would have been executed. And Sirius would have been responsible. He sunk to the ground, reeling.

Remus was still turned from him, but Sirius could hear him start to cry.

"I know I'm sorry doesn't cut it, Remus," he said softly. "I'm horrified by what I did. I hate myself for… for doing that to you. The last thing I ever want to happen is for you to hurt. I love you so much…"

Remus turned to him, wiping his eyes. "…What?"

Sirius replayed what he'd just said in his head, and blinked when he realized it was entirely true. "I love you, Remus. More than life. And you hating me is killing me, even though I deserve it and more." He was suddenly aware that Remus was kneeling next to him.

"I can't hate you, Padfoot. Merlin, I've tried. You _do_ deserve it, and I don't know if I can ever really forgive you. But I don't hate you. I—" he stopped, and with a sharp intake of breath, laced his fingers (clean and cool and soft) over Sirius' (dirty and hot and callused). "Merlin help me, but I think I love you, too. Which is what makes all this so much worse."

Sirius gulped, and lifted his head to look at the other boy. Remus was nervously chewing on his tongue, his eyes were puffy and he looked exhausted.

"You love me? Like… not… as friends kind of love me?" Sirius finally asked, desperately needing the clarification.

Remus nodded slightly, then withdrew his hand and stood. "Come to the Shack tonight. I'm not gonna suddenly start dating you or anything, not now, not after all this… but we can try to work through it. You need to… build my trust back again." He turned, effortlessly broke the locking spell Sirius had placed on the door, and went to dinner, leaving a very dazed Sirius on the floor.

('')

The last full moon of the school year, Sirius was assigned detention. It wasn't even really his fault—a Slytherin had taken a swing at him during Care of Magical Creatures (Sirius may have 'accidentally' dropped a flobberworm down his robes) and Professor Kettleburn had assigned them both detentions for fighting.

"Please, Professor, I'll do a week of detentions, just please not tonight, I have… I have somewhere to be tonight, I can't do it tonight!" Sirius begged, after class was over.

"No, Mr. Black. Tonight." And that was it, there was no budging. Sirius stormed off, furious. He was going to miss the full. He was still—as Dumbledore put it—on probation, and if he blatantly refused this punishment, he could easily be expelled.

And things were just starting to be normal with Remus again—more than normal, they were actually gently flirting with one another again! Everything could be ruined, because of a stupid Slytherin and a stupid flobberworm…

Sirius stalked into the dorm, threw his books in a corner, and collapsed on his bed. The other three boys had arrived back before him, and looked on curiously at his theatrics. "I couldn't get out of detention," he mumbled into his pillow. "I won't be able to change with you tonight, Moony."

Peter squeaked slightly, and Remus glanced at him before coming over to sit next to Sirius on the bed. "That's… that's ok, Pads. I'll be fine, I've changed alone before." He looked over at James and Peter. "I'm assuming you don't want to change without Sirius there?"

Peter shook his head quickly, but James frowned.

"We're prey animals. I don't know, would the wolf attack us?"

Remus shrugged. "I have no idea. You haven't changed without Sirius there to help control me."

James looked down at the ground, unwilling to meet the other boys' eyes. "I don't—"

"It's alright, really," Remus tried to reassure them. The four settled into a heavy silence, and then Remus patted Sirius' shoulder, and reminded them that they needed to get to Transfiguration. His voice was thick with false levity.

Transfiguration was over far too quickly, and Remus needed to leave immediately afterward. He paused in the corridor outside the classroom—he would go one direction, the other three would go in the opposite.

"Right, I'll see you in the morning, then…" he said, his voice shaking slightly.

James and Peter nodded, turned, and fled, embarrassed they weren't stronger. Sirius stayed.

"I'm sorry, Rem."

Remus looked down. "You seem to say that a lot…" but when he looked up, he flashed Sirius a lopsided smile. Sirius whined slightly, in almost a perfect imitation of Padfoot, and pulled Remus into a hug—the first time he'd dared get so close since the Prank.

Remus hugged him in return, and nestled his head into Sirius' shoulder for a split second before stepping back.

"I'll be fine, Sirius. See you in the morning." And with that, he spun and was gone down the hallway.

('')

When the first ray of sunlight began to lighten the dorm room, Sirius bolted out of bed and ran to the infirmary. He burst through the doors, surprising Madame Pomfrey, and skidded to a halt next to Remus' bed.

And then he whimpered, taking in Remus' beaten form.

"I don't understand," Madame Pomfrey told him (she'd long ago realized that Sirius knew Remus' secret and wouldn't be deterred by silly things like visiting hours). "He hasn't been bad since early in your fifth year. And he was particularly violent last night…" she went back to repairing Remus' numerous wounds, and Sirius sank into a chair near the bed.

Remus' left arm was shattered in a compound fracture, and the shoulder and collarbone on that side looked dislocated or broken as well. His face was bruised, and an ear was nearly torn off. Madame Pomfrey was working to close a rip in Remus' stomach that looked as if he'd tried to disembowel himself—in fact, if Sirius really looked, (he didn't want to, but he looked anyway) he was fairly positive he saw pink coiling organs that were probably Remus' intestines. He had gashes on his legs that went down to the bone, and one of his feet was pointed in the wrong direction.

Madame Pomfrey let out a relieved breath as she successfully closed Remus' stomach. "I was worried I'd have to send him to St. Mungo's." She glanced at Sirius. "He nearly died, Mr. Black, but he'll be fine. The stomach wound is the only one I was really worried about. I can fix everything else with no trouble."

Sirius nodded, numb. Never again, _never again_ would Remus be alone, getting expelled be damned. Being with Remus was more important than staying in school. He watched for the next hour as Madame Pomfrey methodically fixed everything she could, and when she was finished, she handed him the dittany so he could help as well.

He took over, dabbing the paste liberally on Remus' many wounds, and the woman smiled slightly as she saw his careful attention focused solely on the other boy. She excused herself to her office, seeing Sirius had things under control, and Sirius nodded, barely hearing her. His entire being was focused on Remus.

Remus didn't wake up that day, and Sirius didn't leave his side. He dozed lightly in the chair next to the bed, holding Remus' hand once the Skele-Grow had finished healing broken fingers. And when he woke from one of those dozes, jerked back into reality by the tightening of Remus' fingers around his, he found Remus staring blearily at him.

"You're awake," Sirius breathed, relieved. "You want some water?" Remus nodded slightly, and Sirius quickly poured him a cup, tipping it and helping the broken boy drink.

"You were hurt real bad…" he told Remus, as the werewolf started examining himself. "Madame Pomfrey said… she said you almost died."

Remus exhaled sharply through his nose. "Sorry I scared you like that…"

"_You're_ sorry! No, Remus, it's all my fault, if I hadn't gotten detention, I would have been there for you, I'm the one who's sorry…"

Remus smiled slightly. "You gotta quit with this apologizing all the time," he teased, his voice weak. "I'm gonna sleep some more… you'll… you'll be here when I wake up?"

"Yea."

Remus fell asleep quickly, the small smile still lingering on his face.

('')

It was a week before Remus was allowed to leave the infirmary. He limped back to the dorms, alone for once since Sirius had been threatened by McGonagall—he needed to go to class _occasionally_ at least. The walk seemed to take forever, and by the time he was able to collapse on his bed, Remus' ribs were aching, the wound on his stomach had started bleeding slightly again, and he was shaking. Maybe he shouldn't have exaggerated his healing prowess to Madame Pomfrey.

Still, it was nice to be back in his familiar bed, and he soon fell asleep.

He awoke late in the evening to the smell of something delicious. He yawned and looked up—Sirius was hovering over him, a smile on his face.

"I brought you dinner," the dark-haired boy said softly. "Shepard's pie. It's quite good tonight."

Remus pushed himself into a sitting position. "Thanks," he said, and started shoveling the food down—he was starving. Sirius watched him eat, and then handed him a flagon of chilled pumpkin juice when Remus glanced around for something to wash it down with. He took a long drink, and smiled at Sirius. "You thought of everything."

"I try." Sirius paused, and carefully gathered up the empty dishes, putting them to the side where he knew the house elves would find them. "Listen, Remus, I… I wanted to say again that I'm sorry you got hurt so badly, and I never want you to go through that again…" he trailed off, staring down at his hand.

His hand, that Remus was holding.

"C'mere, Siri…" Remus pulled lightly on his arm. Sirius sat down on the edge of Remus' bed, his eyes wide and his face hopeful.

"You've been magnificent this last week," Remus continued. "And… while I'll never understand what possibly possessed you to send Snape to the Shack…" he shook his head, and took a breath. "What I'm trying to say is, I'm not mad at you anymore. And… when I thought…" he stopped, and gulped, searching for the right words.

"Last week, I thought I was going to die. I woke up lying there in the Shack, and there was blood everywhere and I was in so much pain but the only thing that was going through my head was 'I'm never gonna see Sirius again,' and that hurt worse than anything."

Sirius let out a strangled noise, and pulled himself closer to Remus, lying down and stretching out beside him so their faces were barely inches apart.

"I don't want to be apart from you anymore," Remus whispered, and then they were kissing, slow and gentle and sweet. Sirius slid his hands to thread through Remus' hair, and Remus placed his hand over Sirius' heart, feeling it beating furiously under his touch, and they were both blissfully happy.


	7. Confirmation

**_Warnings: _**_graphic sexing, homophobia_

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters. No money is being made nor offense is intended._

**_A/N: _**_Seventh year, and t__his is a bit of a long one. You'll survive, I'm sure. There will be one more chapter after this one- glimpse of life post-graduation. Should be posted within a couple days; I'm editing now. _

* * *

><p><strong>Confirmation<strong>

September 1st of the boy's seventh year was an exercise in hell for Sirius. He hadn't seen Remus all summer—the werewolf's parents had taken him to India to participate in a trial that was supposed to lessen the aggression of the wolf. And even though the boys had kept in constant communication throughout the ordeal (which had ended up being quite painful and hadn't worked in the slightest) with owls constantly streaming between them, it was nowhere near enough.

So when Sirius had spotted Remus on Platform 9¾, the only thing he wanted to do was pull the other boy into his arms and kiss him senseless. But a surging throng of students and parents (including his father and Regulus, who pointedly ignored him) was less than conducive to that.

While the wizarding community in 1976 was less concerned with gay vs. straight and more with pure vs. mixed blood, same sex relationships were still mostly frowned upon. And though Sirius didn't care much about what others thought, he knew Remus would be horrified with a public display of affection, so he reluctantly restrained himself.

And then, once on the train, James and Peter wouldn't leave them alone for even a second, even though Sirius dropped increasingly more and more blatant hints to sod off. Finally, twenty minutes before the train was due to arrive in Hogsmeade station, Sirius gave a growl of annoyance, grabbed Remus' wrist, and stormed out of the cabin.

"What—Sirius, what are you doing?" Remus protested half-heartedly (mostly for show) and allowed Sirius to drag him toward the train's loo. Sirius pulled him inside, shut and locked the door, and then pushed Remus up against it.

"You tell me what I'm doing, Moony," he growled, and started sucking on Remus' neck.

"Ohhh, did you miss me or something…?" teased Remus, but he pressed his hands to Sirius' hips and pulled him closer.

"I missed you far too much, and I've wanted to snog you since I laid eyes on you in London. No, check that. I've wanted to snog you since last May when I _last_ saw you." And with that, he stopped talking and did just that.

They stayed in the bathroom until the train jerked to a stop and they were forced to emerge, red-faced and dishevelled. They got a few odd looks, but people were used to the Marauders doing odd things, and most simply chocked it up to a start of the year prank.

"Where'd you guys go?" Peter asked interestedly, when they returned to claim their trunks.

"Uh," Remus said (ever eloquent).

"Yea…" Sirius added, and both James and Peter cocked their heads and looked at them curiously. "I mean, nowhere. Just stretching our legs…"

"Right," said James, looking slightly suspicious. But he dragged his trunk out the door, following Peter, and Remus caught Sirius' arm before he could leave, too.

"You haven't told James?"

Sirius fidgeted. "No. I didn't know if you wanted me to, and then I realized it would be best if we told them together."

"We need to tell them. Soon, too. They'll be annoyed if they find out on their own."

"Yea," Sirius agreed, and leaned in and pecked Remus quickly on the cheek. "Tonight? I don't really know how they'll react. I hope…" he looked worried.

"It'll be fine," Remus reassured him. "If they didn't throw me over for being a werewolf, they won't leave about this."

('')

During the carriage ride over, Sirius entertained himself by cataloguing the ways Remus' appearance had changed over the summer. He'd grown a couple inches, making him, for the first time, slightly taller than the black-haired boy. He'd also thickened a bit in the shoulders, giving him an air of physical strength that had nicely replaced the gangly teen he'd been last year.

His face was more lined, and his hair was longer, allowing it to curl around his ears and the base of his neck. He'd also seemed to have stopped plucking the grey that smattered his temples, which was probably a good call—it made him look distinguished. Sirius wondered if the procedures he'd undergone over the summer were what had caused all these changes—Remus had been uncharacteristically quiet when discussing India.

Remus didn't notice Sirius' appraising looks. Instead, he was staring, part fascinated and part disturbed, at the thestrals pulling the carriage. He had been _aware_ that Hogwarts had a flock of the creatures, but hadn't been able to see them before this year. He shuddered, and Sirius put a hand on his knee.

"You ok?" the raven-haired boy asked him softly.

"Yea," Remus replied. "Just… I can see the thestrals. It's a little disconcerting."

Sirius glanced toward the front of the carriage, his eyes roving blindly over creatures he couldn't see. He chewed his lip, unsure if he should try to console Remus. "Someone died while you were in India?"

A shrug, and then Remus looked away. "I'm fine, just don't really want to talk about it. It's just weird, is all."

Sirius nodded, and after a quick glance at James and Peter (who were deeply absorbed in a conversation of their own and hadn't noticed the serious air on the other side of the carriage) laced his fingers with Remus'. The werewolf stared down at their joined hands and then up at Sirius, a confused (mixed with more than a hint of desire) look on his face.

"I'm always here for you, Moony," Sirius said softly, trying to pick the best words. "You're... you know how much you mean to me. If you ever need to talk, I want to hear you out." He blushed, for once overwhelmed by embarrassment. Remus grinned, and without thinking, leaned forward, placing a small kiss on his cheek.

The conversation on their other side suddenly cut off. Sirius closed his eyes, steeling himself for this conversation, and then turned to the other two boys, a wide smile on his face. "Can we help you?"

"Rem—" James started, staring at Sirius and Remus' joined hands. "Uh, kissed you?"

Remus turned a shade of violent red, tried to unlace his fingers, and ducked his head. Sirius glanced back at him, and tightened his hold on the werewolf's hand. "Yes, he did. We're dating. Have been for a few months, actually… since April of last term?" Remus nodded in miserable agreement.

"What!" James squeaked. "You never said! Why didn't you say?"

"We wanted to tell you together, although I seem to be doing all the talking," Sirius said good-naturedly. "Actually, we were going to wait to tell you until we were back in the dorms tonight, but oh well. This works just as well." He leaned into Remus (who now roughly resembled a tomato in his colouring) and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"Right," Peter said shakily, and James nodded slowly. The rest of the ride to the castle was done in complete silence. Sirius refused to let go of Remus' hand, but he felt his heartbeat accelerating when he occasionally caught stony looks coming from James' direction. This may be a bit… not good.

('')

As the four boys traipsed into their familiar dorm later that night, James finally broke the oppressive silence—and he did it in the worst way possible.

"So are you two planning on sleeping in separate beds? Or will the buggering begin immediately?"

"We'll sleep in our own beds, James," Remus responded calmly, over his embarrassment from the carriage ride. He rested a hand on Sirius' arm when the other boy flushed and stepped forward aggressively. "Let it be for now," he mumbled so only Sirius could hear. Then he turned and faced their friends. Both James and Peter were watching them warily.

"I'm sorry we sprung this on you so suddenly. But this isn't a new development. We didn't tell you last term because we were just starting out, and wanted to see where this would go. And while we didn't spend time together this past summer, we talked often—surely you noticed the frequency I sent Sirius owls, James—and now we're secure enough in our relationship to want to tell our best friends. I hope… I hope you can accept us." Remus let out a sharp breath and sat on his bed. Sirius plopped down next to him, slung an arm over his shoulder, and glared at the other two boys.

Peter blushed, and glanced at James before addressing the couple. "I'm… I'm fine with it. With you, I mean. I don't really want to _see_ any manloving," he gave them a shaky smile, "but… but I'm happy for you. Really." The smile morphed into something much more genuine.

James glared at Peter, but Sirius smiled at him. "Thanks, Pete."

"Well I'm outnumbered then," James muttered, and retreated to his bed, pulling the curtains tightly shut. Sirius glowered after him, but Remus just sighed.

"He'll come around, Padfoot."

"Yea," Sirius grumbled, looking at the closed curtains. "I hope so."

('')

A week later, and James still wasn't talking to them unless it was absolutely necessary. His behaviour was odd enough that after Friday's Transfiguration lesson (which all four boys still shared) that Professor McGonagall asked Remus to stay behind to talk to her.

"Is everything all right between your friends, Mr. Lupin?"

The boy almost panicked. He and Sirius hadn't discussed what they should tell the rest of the school—in fact, they'd been almost overly careful, never touching one another in public or even coming close to flirting as much as they had the previous year. But he couldn't say what was wrong with James without explaining about him and Sirius…

McGonagall sighed. "Does Mr. Potter's change in behaviour have something to do with the evolution of your and Mr. Black's relationship?"

Remus blanched. "You—you know about that? How do you—" he stopped, suddenly finding himself unable to speak.

His professor smiled tightly. "I am the head of your house, Mr. Lupin, and keep an especially careful eye on the four of you. It was obvious. I do not disapprove, and Professor Dumbledore believes you will be… responsible enough… not to necessitate a change in your sleeping arrangements." She looked distinctively uncomfortable at the thought of her pupils potentially having sex.

Remus blushed, and chose to ignore that last statement. "Um, yes, then Professor. James doesn't really like the idea of… of me and Sirius together. But I don't know if it's that we're blokes in general, or if it's that it's _me and Sirius_."

"Well," the woman said slowly, "since Mr. Potter did not seem perturbed with Mr. Black's orientation previously, I would assume he may be upset because he feels he is being replaced."

"But that's ridiculous!" Remus exclaimed. "James and Sirius are like brothers! I couldn't ever replace him." He paused, thinking. "Do you really think that's why he's so upset?"

"It is a distinct possibility, Mr. Lupin," McGonagall said airily. "I suggest you speak to Mr. Potter."

('')

"So _she_ thinks it's cause _James_ thinks I'm trying to replace him being your best friend or something…" Remus finished breathlessly. Sirius played with his goatee (an experiment that was failing miserably—mostly because Remus complained that it itched when they kissed) and thought.

"I'm going to talk to him. Maybe that _is_ it. I mean, he didn't care when I came out, so by all accounts he shouldn't care now. But my friendship with him isn't at all the same as my relationship with you—and hell, we didn't complain when he finally bagged Evans!" Sirius was getting annoyed again, but Remus grabbed his face in his hands, forcing the black-haired boy to look at him.

"No getting angry. We're all best mates, which is why this is hard for James. Probably. Unless he's harbouring a secret crush or something…" Remus grinned, and Sirius curled his lip.

"Gross, Rem."

"I try." Then Remus kissed him softly, and any lingering annoyance Sirius still felt vanished. They remained close for a moment, and then Remus broke the mood with "You really need to shave that atrocious thing. It's like kissing a cactus."

Sirius snorted and shoved Remus' shoulder.

"Right, I'll talk to James during our free period this afternoon. This whole not-talking-to-us thing is getting very old."

('')

James was sulking in the library when Sirius finally found him that afternoon. The bespectacled wizard pointedly ignored his friend when he flopped down in a seat across from him. They sat in silence for several minutes.

"I'm not replacing you, you know," Sirius suddenly said. James frowned and propped a book up so he wouldn't have to look at Sirius.

A sigh floated over from the other side of the table. "You're my best friend, James. Far closer to me than any of my blood relatives. You're my brother, and that won't ever change. Yea, Remus and I are together, but that shouldn't change… _us_. Besides," he continued in a smaller voice, "I'm very happy. Remus makes me happy. I—I love him, but I don't want to lose you because of who I fell for."

James lowered the book and ran a hand though his hair.

"I want you to be happy for us, James."

"Things are going to change, Sirius," James hissed, slightly too loudly, and Madame Pince shushed them. "What happens when you two break up?" James continued softly, after apologizing to the librarian. "We'll—the Marauders—we'll be ruined. This… thing… you two are doing could ruin everything."

Sirius gaped at him. "I'm not planning on breaking up with Remus. He's the one, James."

James rolled his eyes. "Can't be. _You_ are willing to settle down? I don't believe it. You're just infatuated, and you're going to end up breaking Remus' heart!"

"_That's_ what this is about? You're angry at me because you think I'll… break Remus?" A small nod from James, and Sirius sat back in his chair, floored.

"I…I worry about him," James admitted softly. "He's not as tough as he acts, and this… you could absolutely destroy him."

"I won't hurt him. He's everything, James. I've never been happier than I am—knowing I have him and he wants me back…" Sirius fumbled. "I can't even put it into words."

James nodded slowly, and lapsed into silence for a moment, before stating bluntly: "If you do hurt him… I'll choose _him_, Sirius. You'll lose me, too." He glared challengingly at the black-haired boy, but Sirius just smiled.

"I'd deserve that. But it will never come to that. I'm not leaving Remus—not ever."

James smiled tentatively back at him, and Sirius breathed a sigh of relief.

('')

Things between the friends had eased up over the course of the school year. James and Sirius patched things up, though Remus got the impression that James was watching their relationship's developments very closely.

As the year progressed, however, James seemed to relax his scrutinizing, seeming to accept that Sirius and Remus weren't in this for a quick shag, and by the time Easter break rolled around, he was their biggest supporter.

Currently, Remus was trying to not act excited by the fact that break started today and James and Peter would not be staying, while he and Sirius were. He was perched on his bed, watching the two boys pack, and trying not to let himself blush as he remembered Sirius' whispered promises about what they could get up to when they had the dorm to themselves.

"Right," James said as he finished stuffing his schoolbooks into his bag. "You and Sirius have a responsible, quiet, law-abiding break, yea Moony?" Remus rolled his eyes at James' lecherous grin.

"Ready, Pete? We're going to miss the train if we're much later."

"I'll catch you up; I've too many books to fit in my bag..." Peter looked forlornly at the stack of homework he was taking home, due to massive procrastination on his part.

Remus sighed, and quickly cast a shrinking spell on Peter's stack of books. "Shouldn't have put it off so much, Pete." Peter shrugged and grimaced, thanked Remus quickly, and the two boys shot off downstairs to catch the train.

"See you," Remus called after them, and then fell backward on the bed, smiling toward the ceiling. Sirius had said goodbye to the other two at breakfast, and was still apparently serving an early morning detention with Professor Slughorn. Remus hoped he wouldn't be too long.

It was approaching lunchtime, however, before Sirius returned to the dorms. He was dragging slightly, exhausted from scrubbing cauldrons, but when he shuffled into the common room and found it completely deserted, he grinned to himself—he had some very definite plans about how this break would go for Remus and him.

Once in their dorm, he realized that Remus was dozing lightly, an open book on his chest. After a moment of watching his boyfriend sleep, he knelt down on the bed, straddling the werewolf, and woke him with a soft kiss to his forehead.

Remus yawned and stretched underneath him, (perhaps wiggling more than was strictly necessary) and then opened his eyes, studying the boy above him.

"Hello," Sirius purred.

"Hello yourself," responded Remus, his voice slightly gravelly.

"So," Sirius said, looking as thoughtful and serious as he was capable, "how would you like to start off this lovely weekend?"

"Hmm," Remus put a graceful finger to his lips in mock-thought. "Lunch?"

Sirius rolled his hips, and Remus' mouth fell open slightly, his eyes glazing when he felt Sirius' growing arousal.

"I suppose we could find _something_ to eat..." the black-haired boy mumbled, dipping his head to nibble at Remus' pale throat.

Remus made a strangled noise, but then sat up, dislodging Sirius. "Not... right now, Siri. I want..." he flushed and looked down. "I want you. Tonight. All the... all the way." He took a breath and met Sirius' eyes, which had darkened with desire. "I want you inside me."

It was Sirius' turn to make a strangled noise. Then he shook his head and gulped, almost dizzy with how much he loved the boy underneath him. "You're sure?" he finally forced out, and when Remus nodded, he laughed softly and leaned forward to kiss him.

"I love you so much," he whispered into Remus' mouth, and Remus deepened their kiss.

The rest of the day was difficult for both of them, as they tried to interact with the few students that had stayed for the holiday and also get some homework done. Remus would occasionally pause mid-sentence, a faraway look in his eyes, and then blush—it wasn't difficult to deduce what he was thinking about. Sirius suffered from an almost constant erection, and spent most of the day re-arranging himself so as not to frighten a third-year student he was tutoring in Transformation.

They eagerly called it an early night, and fled to their room the second the sun set.

Once inside, they tumbled onto Sirius' bed (closest to the door) and with a flurry of hands and teeth, stripped one another. Sirius moaned in relief when Remus slid his boxers down over his hips, and Remus raised an eyebrow when he saw his boyfriend's straining member.

"I've been hard all day, Rem," Sirius gasped, squeezing at the base of his cock. "There's no way I'll be able to do anything without coming... I can barely hold on as is..."

"Good thing you're a young and virile man, then," Remus smirked. "You'll just have to come a couple times tonight." Then he slipped off his own boxers and without further ado, ducked down to lick a long stripe on Sirius, from root to tip.

"Oh god, ohgod, ohgodohgodohgod," Sirius chanted, and Remus swallowed him down. Sirius hadn't exaggerated—the day-long anticipation, coupled with Remus' talented tongue and wet (_oh god, and so_ _hot_) mouth, meant that he finished, burying his hands in tawny brown hair and arching into those sinful lips, after only a couple minutes.

Remus pulled back, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand in a purely pornographic gesture. He flashed a wide grin at Sirius, who was boneless on the bed, twitching slightly from the aftershocks.

When Sirius came back to himself, he pulled Remus down and kissed him passionately, tasting his bitterness on his boyfriend's tongue. He snaked his hand between them and Remus groaned, dropping his head into the hollow of Sirius' collarbone.

"Oh, Siri, yes..." Remus mumbled, starting to thrust lightly into Sirius' fist. They settled into a steady rhythm, but after a few more minutes of rubbing and kissing, Remus pulled back and rolled off the bed. Sirius let out a moan of displeasure, but Remus just flashed him a smile, opening the draw on the table next to his bed and rummaging for a moment before finding what he wanted and sliding back onto Sirius' bed.

With a smile that was equal parts shy, apprehensive, and desperately sexual, he presented Sirius with a small bottle of lube.

Sirius sat up, realized he was once again throbbingly hard, and fixed Remus with his grey eyes, almost entirely blown out with lust. "You're sure? I don't want you to do this just cause I want to..."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Trust me, I want this." He leaned over Sirius and kissed him lightly on his forehead before straddling him completely. "I want you."

Sirius couldn't stop the needy whine that rose in his throat. "You should roll over. I think it'll be easier for you this way, less painful." Remus nodded and rolled onto his stomach, angling his taut arse toward Sirius, whose mouth immediately started watering.

"Please, Sirius, touch me..."

Sirius obliged him, stroking his hands gently along the curve of his spine, tracing light patterns on his pale backside. He reached for the lube, smearing his fingers liberally before breathlessly asking, "Ready?"

Remus nodded, and bunched the sheets in his fists when Sirius slid his first finger in, thrusting carefully. He listened carefully to Remus' cues, and over the next ten minutes, slowly, achingly, and as gently as possible, opened Remus up.

Finally, finally, _finally_, Remus was ready, and Sirius edged into him, kissing along his spine and whispering nothings into the back of his neck. Remus hissed in sharp breaths, trying to relax and open as widely as possible.

"Y'alright?" Sirius stuttered, stilling entirely, his eyes wide with worry.

"Yea, keep going, lemme..." Remus reached back, hand questing for Sirius', who caught his fingers and kissed them. After a moment of letting himself adjust to the intrusion, Remus rocked gently back onto Sirius, who gasped and slid in the rest of the way.

"Oh, Merlin, this is..." Sirius breathed, his brain short-circuiting and disallowing coherent thought. He started pumping, and slid his hand down to stroke along Remus' length, bringing him to full alertness once again.

Suddenly, Remus tensed, and swore, and arched backward into Sirius, who let out a grunt of surprise.

"Oh, Siri, right there, yes, yes, oh..."

Sirius grinned—he'd found Remus' prostate. He moved faster, angling to rub that spot, and a few short and gasping thrusts later, he came for the second time of the night, pulsing deep inside Remus.

He slid out, flipped Remus over (the werewolf let out a startled squeak at the manhandling) and sucked Remus fully into his mouth—it only took a two long sucks, and then Remus was crying out and pulsing down his throat.

Remus dragged him upwards on the bed so they were lying face to face, limbs intertwined, not a millimetre of space between them.

"That was wonderful," Sirius mumbled, suddenly feeling extremely sleepy.

Remus hummed in agreement. "Love you, Pads."

"Love you, too."

They drifted to sleep, too exhausted to clean up.

('')

After the Easter break, Sirius decided he was sick of hiding their relationship.

"We've only got a few weeks left, Moony, and if people react badly, they won't even have a full year to make us miserable."

Remus shook his head for what seemed like the millionth time. They were lying in his bed, and Sirius was giving him his absolute best puppy-dog pleading eyes. And even though Remus was determined not to give into them, he couldn't help but notice what excellent pleading eyes Sirius was capable of.

"I don't fancy being called a fag or a pouf for the rest of our school career," he countered. "It would be bad for studying, and I need top scores on my NEWTS if I plan to have any chance of a future at all in the wizarding world."

Sirius sighed heavily, and flopped his head on Remus' shoulder. "I know. I just hate hiding. Especially when girls flirt with you. It is insufferable."

"Flirt with _me_? You should talk, Mister 'Oh-Sirius-please-help-me-inspect-this-closet-for-boggarts.'"

"That was _one_ girl, and honestly, Lucy's a bit dense. And I didn't _do_ it… she cried for a whole day, you know."

Remus snorted with laughter. "I know. She actually came to _me_, afterward, and asked what she could do to make you notice her. I was slightly rude."

"Aww, my rude Remus," Sirius murmured, and kissed his boyfriend gently.

('')

Unfortunately for Remus, their relationship status was not as secret as they'd hoped. A week or so prior, Snape had spotted them disappearing into the Room of Requirement, and curious, had lingered until they re-emerged.

He had ended up witnessing a _very_ passionate kiss before they parted to go their separate ways to their next classes. He ultimately decided that their relationship would be a perfect way to get some modicum of revenge for the events of last year.

So Snape started spreading the news.

The morning after they had laid in bed, agreeing to come out to the school population after exams were over, the couple went to breakfast as usual. They didn't notice the up swell in conversation as they entered, yawning, but they did notice the way several fellow Gryffindors moved away from them when they sat in their usual spot.

"What?" Sirius asked a startled-looking second year girl. "Do I smell or something?"

An enchanted paper airplane hit Remus in the back of the head as Sirius watched the younger student squeak and run off. "That was weird," he said, turning to the werewolf, who had unfolded the note and was staring blankly at it. "What's that?" Remus handed it over silently.

_Fucking faggits. I hope you kill yourselves. Your disgusting. _

Sirius' mouth fell open. "Uh," he said. But when he turned to Remus, the other boy had a small (very small) smile on his face.

"They can't even spell faggots right, and they used the wrong version of 'you're.'" Remus stated calmly.

Sirius laughed. "Well, I guess we're out, then?" Remus shrugged in response.

James and Peter materialized next to them, panting slightly. "We heard," James said. "You guys alright? Do we need to break anyone's face?" Sirius handed him the note, and James read it quickly. He laughed, and raised his voice. "Who's the idiot who doesn't understand grammar?" He passed the note to Peter, who read it with a raised eyebrow.

"Seriously?" the pudgy boy wondered aloud.

"Apparently," Sirius laughed, and then with a decisive movement, rose and stepped onto the table. The buzz of the students grew, and then doubled when he leaned down and dragged Remus up to the table with him.

"Right!" Sirius shouted to the room in general. "We were content to just be happy in our closet, but since the gossip is just _so_ juicy—the rumours you've heard, I'm sure, have at least some basis in truth." He turned to a very startled Remus and grabbed his hands. They gazed at one another, momentarily forgetting they were surrounded by the entire population of Hogwarts. Sirius, ever brash, decided to make his move.

"I love you, Remus John Lupin. C'mere, you sexy thing." He tilted his head up, and pressed his lips firmly against the stuttering werewolf's. After a second of frantic struggling, Remus gave in and relaxed, opening his mouth slightly and letting Sirius deepen the kiss.

James and Peter whooped, and about two-thirds of Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff erupted into cheers and wolf whistles. Even a few Slytherins joined in. The other students looked around, a little dazed, and grumbled under their breaths.

After several minutes of this, a magically amplified voice echoed around the room, and the two boys (along with the rest of the school) looked toward the teacher's table.

"While congratulations are in order, I believe, Mr. Lupin, Mr. Black, you still need to get off the table." Professor Dumbledore smiled warmly at them, and they grinned back.


	8. Happilyish Ever After

_**Warnings: **__Graphic sexing, of the slash variety. _

_**Disclaimer: **__Don't own, no offense intended, blah blah..._

_**A/N: **__I was quite pleased to include a familiar face in this chapter (well familiar if you've read my other longish chapter fic). I think she turned out well, and I tied the two together nicely. (There was a plan all along, I swear!) _

_Anywhoo, it's been fun! I enjoyed writing this, and I'm happy if you enjoyed reading it. I really appreciate the reviews I've gotten, so thank you for sticking around and supporting me. :)_

* * *

><p><strong>Happily(ish) Ever After<strong>

The evening after graduation found Remus and Sirius standing in front of an out-of-order phone booth in London. Remus had an appointment at the Werewolf Registration offices at 6:00pm.

"It's not fair, Rem. You shouldn't be treated any differently..."

"Just cause you think it, and I think it, doesn't mean the Ministry thinks it. Besides, I'm lucky. I should have had to register once I was seventeen, but Dumbledore took responsibility for me since I was still at Hogwarts."

He nervously re-rolled a parchment in his hands—a statement from Dumbledore, in fact, requesting Remus' exemption from mandatory full moon lockup. "He's done a lot for me, and in order to _not_ be forced into this lockup," he brandished the parchment at Sirius, "I need to co-operate as much as I can." He took a breath, and stepped into the phone booth. Sirius crowded in next to him.

Remus' hands were shaking slightly. "You don't need to come, you know. I'm sure I'll be... fine..."

Sirius glowered at him. "I'm coming. Besides, if I'm there, there's no way they can 'accidentally' lock you up. I'm a witness against police brutality."

Remus snorted, but picked up the receiver and listened for a moment. "Uh, Remus Lupin for werewolf registry? And Sirius Black as a witness," he added hastily. Two visitors' passes spat out of the machine, and they suddenly plummeted downwards. A few moments later, they emerged into the atrium of the Ministry of Magic.

They made their way slowly to the reception desk, and were greeted by a youngish wizard who couldn't have been more than three years older than them. "Check your wands," he said lazily, barely glancing at them. "Business here?"

Remus handed him his wand, and mumbled "Werewolf registry." The wizard's eyes widened slightly, and he glanced at Sirius.

"I'm here with my boyfriend for moral support," Sirius said sharply, fixing the wizard's eyes with his own as he handed over his wand.

"...Right. Well, you can have your wand back, but I'll have to hold the werewolf's until you're done." He flinched under Sirius' furious glare. "Sorry, policy." He looked at Remus. "I'm sorry. Really, I am. I don't..." he trailed off, and looked down. "Magical Creatures is on level four."

"It's fine, I'm used to it," Remus mumbled. "C'mon, Siri." He led the way to the elevators, ignoring Sirius' furious whispers, and feeling frighteningly naked without his wand. He punched the button for level four, and the doors closed behind them.

"Fucking bollocks!" Sirius said loudly once the doors were closed. "I can't fucking believe they confiscated your wand, Moony, it's fucking—"

"I'll get it back," Remus said sharply, but he was starting to sweat slightly. He hadn't been inside the Ministry since when he was first bitten, and his memories of that (thankfully blurry encounter) consisted mostly of unpleasant people poking him with sharp implements. He remembered enough to know he'd been terrified, though. It had not been a pleasant experience when he was five, and he doubted it would be much better twelve years later.

The door dinged open, and they stepped out. Sirius grabbed Remus' hand, and squeezed tightly. "I'm here. They won't do anything to you if I'm here." Remus nodded, and they found the correct door, which let them into a small waiting room.

"Remus Lupin for werewolf registry," he told the receptionist, who was sitting behind a very thick pane of spell-proof glass. She was also practically swimming with defensive spells, and Remus sighed. It was yet anoher mark of how little those classified as 'dark creatures' were trusted in the magical community. He was told to take a seat, and so he slouched into a chair, trying not to feel miserable.

The waiting room was sparsely filled, and smelled faintly of antiseptic, with an unpleasant undertone of fear. There was a hag tucked into a corner, chewing nervously on what Remus hoped was a piece of jerky, and two other tired looking men, both heavily scarred—probably other werewolves. Remus noted with discomfort that the one who appeared to be in his sixties (although his true age was probably closer to forty) appeared to be on death's doorstep.

"What do they do? I mean, it should just be some paperwork, right?" Sirius asked after a short silence, jerking Remus out of his inspection of the other beings.

Remus shrugged. "I think I have to have a perfunctory medical exam, an interview, fill out paperwork, and with the new laws, I might get... marked, somehow." He felt Sirius stiffen in the chair next to him.

"Marked?" Sirius' voice was low and deadly.

"A tattoo or a brand..." Remus whispered. "Dumbledore warned me it might happen, but part of his letter recommends that I shouldn't have to." He hadn't said anything about this Sirius, because he knew he'd react like this.

"They're going to _brand_ you?"

Remus looked at Sirius with wide eyes. He'd never seen the other man so angry. "Sirius... don't. Getting angry won't change anything, and if you make a scene, they might... I duno. Do something. Lock you up, lock _me_ up. Just don't—we don't have a choice."

Sirius opened his mouth to argue, but was cut off when the door to the corridor slammed open. A tall woman in flowing skirts and dark glasses swept in, her face murderous. She stopped in front of the desk. "Sariah Bane, registration," she snarled at the woman behind the glass.

"See," Sirius hissed at Remus. "She's acting properly pissed. She knows how ridiculous mandatory registration is." The woman turned her head to look at them, and sniffed delicately. She shot Remus a close-lipped smile and ignored Sirius.

"Hurry this up, will you? I'm hungry," she snapped at the receptionist, who stammered slightly and directed her to take a seat.

She dropped to a seat across from Remus and Sirius, and cocked her head, listening to something they couldn't hear, ignoring them.

"I just don't want to cause a problem," Remus finally said, dragging his attention away from the odd woman. "Or give them a reason to lock me up. I just want to..." he grabbed Sirius' hand again, feeling his throat close up from nerves, and Sirius leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.

"Lupin."

Remus jumped slightly, and shot a wide-eyed look at an official looking wizard standing in an open doorway that led deeper into the department. He stood, and Sirius followed.

"Sorry, just the werewolf. No humans past this point," the wizard said, a small self-satisfied smirk on his face. Sirius flushed and growled low in his throat.

"You're making that up. Let the man go back with his boyfriend, Avers."

Remus looked around, shocked that someone had spoken up for them, and realized it was the woman in the dark glasses. She had fixed the official in her sights, and was pursing her lips in a decidedly disapproving way.

"Play nice. Now's not the time to be making enemies amongst werewolves." Her voice was low, and had taken on a frankly frightening tone. The man—Avers—gulped.

"Fine, fine. You both can come back." He turned to lead the way, and Remus looked at the woman again, wanting to thank her. She waved him off with a small gesture.

"Don't let them frighten you. You've done nothing wrong. You don't deserve to be treated like an animal." She flashed him another tight smile, and settled back in her chair, dismissing them completely.

"Well, thanks..." Remus said softly, and she nodded slightly.

Then Remus and Sirius were being led through a dim hallway to an examination room, where Remus was instructed to remove his robes and his shirt. A healer came in, cast a few routine spells, withdrew a sample of blood, checked his reflexes, and bustled back out, obviously unwilling to spend any more time than necessary in a werewolf's presence.

After several minutes of waiting, during which Remus carefully redressed, there was a knock on the door, and a thin, harried-looking witch slid into the room.

"Hello Mister... Lupin," she said, checking his file. "I'm Inspector Susan DeGraves. I'll be your case manager. I have a few questions for you, but nothing really too bad." She smiled at him, an honest smile that made the nerves in Remus' chest unravel slightly.

"Hello, Inspector."

"Oh, just Susan's fine..." she said distractedly, flipping through a stack of papers. "And you are?" she glanced up at Sirius.

"Sirius Black. I'm Remus' partner." He reached out and laced his fingers with Remus'. She nodded, making a note but accepting without another word.

Then she sighed and glared down at the paper in her hand before quickly conjuring an auto-writing quill. "We've got some routine questions... shouldn't take too long, as we've got a good amount of your information filled in from when you were first bitten..." her eyes widened. "By Fenrir Greyback? Oh, I'm... sorry..." she glanced up at him, and blushed slightly. Remus was surprised by her reaction, and shot a look at Sirius, who was watching her blankly. She obviously had some sympathy for Remus, so maybe this wouldn't be too bad.

"So, a werewolf since you were five, schooling at Hogwarts, under the care of either Professor Dumbldore or your family, no history of violence..." she muttered, the quill scratching beside her. "Right." She met Remus' eyes.

"Do you now, or have you ever, desired to sire further werewolves?"

Remus' mouth dropped open slightly. "Seriously? That's... terrible. No, Merlin, no."

She nodded, and went on. "If you felt you were a danger to your community, what would your course of action be?"

"Turn myself in to the Ministry, I suppose. But I take precautions... I've never been a danger to anyone but myself."

"Yes, good." She shook her head slightly. "Not good that you hurt yourself, of course, but good that you take precautions. Um, next. Do you often feel irrational aggression toward humans?"

"No," Remus said flatly. "I'm quite even-tempered."

She shot him a small smile, and glanced back down at the page. "Do you consider yourself superior than, equal to, or lesser than humans?"

"I consider myself equal. And these questions are ridiculous, by the way."

"Trust me, I know," she muttered under her breath. "But policy... anyway... If given the opportunity to convert a family member or loved one to werewolf status, would you do so?"

"No. Never." Remus was starting to look annoyed, but calmed when Sirius squeezed his fingers.

"How do you feel about mandatory werewolf lockup during full moons?"

Remus hesitated before answering slowly. "For those that have proven themselves more violent and uncontrollable during the change, I would _hesitantly_ endorse it. I say hesitantly because the political climate and prejudices of the wizarding world would make it easy to abuse the lockup. And for those that have never harmed anyone, I would never agree that is the correct course of action."

Susan smiled to herself and nodded, flipping a page. "Good answer. That's all the questions for you..." She turned to Sirius. "Would you mind answering a few questions as Mr. Lupin's partner?"

Sirius shrugged. "Sure."

"Have you ever felt unsafe in Mr. Lupin's presence?"

"Never." Sirius responded calmly. "Not even once."

"Do you desire to become a werewolf?"

"Merlin, no. I don't fancy monthly forced agony."

"Do you desire that Mr. Lupin convert others for personal gain or revenge?"

"What kind of question is that?" Sirius snapped, losing his cool. "You're seriously asking if I want to use my boyfriend as a weapon?"

Susan sighed. "_I'm_ not asking, the Ministry is. Not very tactfully," she added with a grimace.

"No, then. That's disgusting."

She plucked the quill from the air, and made a quick note on her parchment. "That's fine then. I have a couple further questions that aren't policy questions, more treatment oriented..."

"I've tried treatments," Remus said quickly. "They tend to be painful and useless."

"We currently have a potion in the works," Susan continued, now smiling, "that is tentatively called 'wolfsbane.' It is still in development now, but when completed, the desired effect is that it will allow the user to retain his mind during the full. It wouldn't stop the transformations, but you'd be more of like an... Animagus, though your bite would still infect a human.

"One of the problems with other so-called 'cures' is that they try to reverse the change, or halt it completely. I think," she leaned forward, an easy smile on her face, "that _that_ is the issue.

"If you can allow the body to change, but retain the mind, I think we have a chance of success. We've—myself and a few peers—been experimenting—not that I'm asking you to participate in the experiments," she added quickly, seeing Sirius' face cloud over. "But would you be interested once the potion is completed? I can give you all the information we have currently on it." She shuffled some more parchments, and found a sheet that she handed to Remus.

He looked down at it, shocked. "Why... you're being nice to me. Why?"

She blinked. "Not everyone sees werewolves as monsters," she finally said. "I work here because I want to help."

"Thank you," Remus and Sirius said in unison, though with different inflections of their voices. Sirius was triumphant, as if proving a point, and Remus was genuinely grateful. They grinned at one another for a moment, and then turned back to Susan.

She smiled. "I'll contact you when more progress has been made. If I'm thinking correctly, we should have a viable potion within the year." She went back to her papers, and the two men glanced at each other, shocked that this trip to the Ministry had turned out so well.

"Anyway, that's about it..." Susan muttered. "Just need to get your final identification sorted."

Remus blanched. "I—I was hoping I wouldn't have to... I have the letter from Professor Dumbledore..."

Susan looked at him, and nervously chewed her lip. "I'm sorry... I don't have any say about this. It's policy, I don't... have a choice." She looked down and took a breath, then met his eyes. "Please hold out your left arm. This won't hurt, I promise."

Remus closed his eyes in defeat and rolled up his sleeve. "No, it's alright. It's not your fault," he murmured.

Sirius was turning red in fury, but when Remus caught his eye and shook his head slightly, Sirius slumped back in his chair. Susan withdrew her wand and touched the tip to Remus' arm, muttering a quiet spell under her breath.

A line of numbers and letters appeared on the inside of Remus' wrist—WV13642. They glowed green for a moment, and then began to fade.

"They'll disappear completely within five minutes of being shown," Susan said softly. "'W' is for werewolf, 'V' is for voluntary. While it's legal for an employer to refuse you work because of your werewolf status, the Ministry will be issuing statements saying that voluntary reporters should be more trusted and given the same consideration as other wizards." She shrugged. "Hopefully this will give you more of a chance at finding a job.

"You need to show this mark to any potential magical employers. Just touch your wrist with the tip of a wand. They are then responsible for filing the necessary paperwork with the Ministry. If you find muggle employment, you need to contact me, and I will file the paperwork." She made sure Remus looked at her. "While it is within my power to deny you a job in the muggle world, I want you to know that I will never do that. I'm a bit more progressive than some of my peers."

Remus nodded numbly, staring at his wrist, where the brand was now almost invisible. There was an awkward silence.

"Are we done?" Sirius finally asked, his voice sharp.

"Yes, that's all for now. Mr. Lupin, you need to come in once a year for updates. Oh, and let me know if you change your address. Here's all my contact information." She handed him a business card. "I'll be in touch about the wolfsbane potion."

"Right," Remus said shakily, standing up. He shook Susan's hand, and was inwardly pleased that that she didn't flinch from his touch, and met his eyes when saying goodbye. He certainly could have drawn a worse case worker.

Sirius led him from the room and back into the now deserted reception area. He slid his arm around Remus' waist, and kissed him softly on the cheek. "It could have been worse, right?"

Remus nodded.

"C'mon, love. Let's go get your wand and I'll take you home."

"Will you stay with me tonight?" Remus asked quietly. "My parents won't care."

"Sure. That makes it easier."

"Makes what easier?" Remus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Looking for place of our own. We can start flat-hunting tomorrow." Sirius grinned at his boyfriend, and Remus smiled back.

('')

One month later and the two men were wandering around a small and shabby flat near Hyde Park. They'd given up searching for a wizard landlord after only two weeks—the second 'werewolf' was mentioned, all free flats suddenly seemed to be spoken for.

So, they were looking for muggle housing, and having a distinct issue with money. The exchange rate with Gringott's was not precisely fair, and Sirius was getting more and more fed up with their limitations.

"There's mould," Remus commented, inspecting a large brown patch on the ceiling. "And over there is a spot that is quite possibly blood. Smells metallic, anyway."

Sirius groaned. "This is never going to work. We need to find a wizarding property, or else we can't afford anything decent. I don't want to live somewhere where there is a stain that is 'quite-possibly-blood'."

"There was blood staining the floor of our Potions classroom..." Remus said offhandedly, grimacing as he pulled out a draw in the kitchen and seeing a scattering of cockroaches. "But I don't like this place. There are bugs."

Sirius hummed in agreement, and they left, thanking the bored agent who was waiting outside.

"We're just going to have to buy a house," Sirius said, turning his coat collar up to protect from a light drizzle. "If no wizard landlord will rent, and no muggle flat is inhabitable, we don't have a choice."

Remus looked unhappy. "I can't afford to buy a house, Sirius. I don't have any money saved, there's no way..."

"I can afford it," Sirius said. "Uncle Alphard gave me money to help out when my parents disowned me. It should be enough for a smallish house or a decent apartment."

Remus stopped up short. "I don't want hand-outs, Sirius. I want to be able to pull my own weight in our relationship."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "And you do. You keep me steady, to start out with, and I'd be miserable without you. Plus, you'll find a job, and then you'll help with bills and the like, but we need a place to live. I can do this—so why not? I don't want to live with the Potters anymore, and I know that as wonderful as they are, your parents are getting slightly uncomfortable with the knowledge that I'm buggering their son in your childhood bedroom. We need our own place."

Remus stared at him with wide eyes. "You think my parents know we're having sex!"

('')

It took four months to find a flat, sign the papers, and set up the magical wards, but finally, one day in late October, Sirius and Remus were standing in their kitchen, surrounded by boxes.

Well, not _exactly_ standing—Remus was supporting Sirius, whose back was pressed against the wall, whose legs were wrapped around the taller man's waist, and whose mouth was sucking a bruise into Remus' throat.

"Sirius, oh God..."

"Happy we've got our own place now, Moony?" Sirius breathed onto his neck. "We can shag in every room of the house—no more silencing spells..."

"No more awkward mornings with my parents or the Potters..." Remus giggled.

"Just you and me," Sirius finished, pulling back and eyeing his handiwork on Remus' neck with a mixture of lust and pride. "And the bed," he added. "Let's go say hullo to the bed."

Remus snorted, but let him down, pulling on his hand as he led the way to the bedroom, and their mattress that was simply lying on the floor—the bed frame was as of yet still in pieces.

They slid onto the bed together, shedding clothing easily and smoothly. Remus moaned low in his throat when Sirius brought their groins together, wrapping his callused fingers around both their lengths and starting to stroke slowly.

"C'mere," Sirius growled, arranging Remus' legs so the werewolf was straddling him, and rolled his hips to increase their friction. "Love your cock, Moony..."

"Mmm... talk dirty to me, oh Siriusss..." Remus' body was tense and shaking slightly, his blood rushing away from his head.

The animagus grinned predatorily. "You're so thick and perfect... love how your foreskin pulls back, like a present opening every time just for me. How your cock leaks for me, bobs for me, begging to be touched..." he trailed a pale finger along the underside of Remus' member, and the werewolf's hips thrust upward, seeking contact.

"Look at me, Remus..." Sirius pressed his finger into his partner's slit, then brought that finger to his mouth, sucking obscenely at the salty stickiness. Remus' eyes widened watching this, and his breath caught in his throat.

"So hard, Siri..." he moaned. "Please, suck me...?"

"Oh yes, gladly..." Sirius slid backwards slightly and sunk down, first rubbing both his cheeks along Remus' red-flushed length, then barely licking, teasingly, at his tip. He muttered a spell quietly, and Remus gasped as he felt himself stretch and lubricate at Sirius' words. He tried not to roll his eyes—trust that the only wandless spell Sirius bothered to learn was the one that allowed him easier access to sex with Remus.

Not giving Remus a chance to adjust, Sirius slid his mouth down fully, his nose brushing auburn curls, and simultaneously thrust two fingers into Remus' stretched entrance. He started plunging both his fingers and mouth in time with one another, and Remus let out a broken cry of pleasure. Sirius took this noise as permission, and added another finger, not breaking his stride in the slightest.

"Sweet fucking Merlin, Sirius!" Remus cried, and Sirius felt himself swell even further. He _loved_ it when Remus swore—something that filthy escaping past those angelic lips—and Remus knew this.

With a growl, Sirius slid off Remus' dick with a wet pop and ran his lube-slicked hand over himself a few times before guiding his cock to Remus' entrance. "Scream for me, Rem..." he mumbled, and slid in.

Remus obliged him, and added in some writhing for good measure.

Sirius set the pace with a series of hard thrusts—long and slow on the withdraw, sharp and fast on the in. Remus' spit-drenched cock slid wetly between them, and Sirius pressed his body down harder, entirely on top of his partner, giving the maximum friction possible.

He lifted Remus' right leg to rest on his shoulder, angling _just so_, and Remus' body arched again, drawn as tight as a bowstring. "Ye... oh... pl..." Remus moaned, and Sirius grinned (or would have, if there was room for anything on his face but desire and need). Making the usually eloquent man speechless was one of his biggest kinks.

Actually, Remus just being Remus was his biggest kink.

A few more insistent thrusts into the werewolf's prostate, and Remus was coming, thick streams of whiteness trapped between their bodies. He clenched onto Sirius, whose hips stuttered, and with a brief flash of the thought that _still_ invariably sent him over the edge, (_It's _Remus_, I'm inside REMUS_) Sirius followed him with a soft cry.

They lay tangled together for a moment, and then Remus muttered a cleaning spell, not bothering to even open his eyes. Instead, he snuggled closer to his partner's side. Sirius turned to bury his face in auburn hair, and breathed deeply, revelling in the glorious scent.

"I like this flat," Remus mumbled sleepily.

"Mm, me too."

"We can set it up all nice. We'll be a proper fancy couple. Flowers and rainbows are the unifying theme." Remus giggled at the thought of them picking out flowery centrepieces.

"I should think not..." Sirius grumbled, mock-annoyed. "I'd have to counter by leaving my newt's eyes strewn about. Never clean up owl droppings..." he yawned.

"You do that anyway."

"Mmm, but I would make a _point_ of it."

They yawned in unison.

"We need to get up early tomorrow—Dumbledore wants us at Hogwarts for a meeting about... um. What did he call it?" Remus said, waving their alarm clock over so he could set it.

"The Order of the Phoenix."

"Yes, that. Fighting for the cause. Almost exciting, if it wasn't so frightening..." Remus whispered.

Sirius shrugged, best he could from his position smothered under the other man. "Us n' James n' Pete... and Lily, I s'ppose. Warriors extraordinaire. We'll kick some Voldy arse. S'good."

"Yea," Remus agreed, and they drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: **__The end of this instalment! Right, quick question: for the next story, would you rather hear about Remus' time in India or about a mission he went on while undercover in Voldemort's army (referenced in my other story, __A Wolf by Any Other Name__)? Let me know, I am a slave to your whims. :) I'm in the planning stages of both stories—so they'll both eventually be written. It is just a matter of which first? _


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